What a strange book
that’d have been run backwards
with Bombadil in the Gandalf spot. He
jumps in at the first second - thrusts
his hand into hot lava,
“Oh look! A ring!"
"You can see me even though I got it on!”
Then everybody trudges back through
all their travails, Bombadil poofs away
in the woods, comes back in the cave,
“Bombadil! Stop acting surprising
- we knew you’d turn up,” up and back
down Mt. Crumpet, dawdling back to
Rivendell, rushing forth to chase Nazgul
mad and scared (Aragorn’s been carrying
a torch you see) all trying not to find some
ring,
(too embarrassing, maybe - six-to-ten
big kings of scary men out hunting for
jewelry - for their big one-eyed sweetheart,
perhaps?)
then they split up
a bit and the short-stuff foursome
ends up in Bombadil’s hut. “GANDALF!”
“Where the SMURF have you been? WHAT
are you doing to Goldberry! That’s Bombadil’s
main squeeze!”
“Oh, fret not a bit Hobbits. They are hippies.”
Quick pause for eyebrows and eye-glints. “Oh,
I’m a hippie too. Did you not know…?”
Yeah.
We knew.
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