Piqued
to settle gently in reproach, taken aback
it seemed by the almost force of his own
ejaculation, interrupting my tangent train
of low blow aimed wide, ostensibly in his
favor, he subsided,
picked a direction
(up) and went on, right by: a hijacker, yes.
But so gallant, and almost apologetic:
"No. No. You must see" he said "a mind
is wild."
look
"A beast by nature, and trains itself quite
naturally upon anything present - in light
of things known past. What you get is
the world, and full of most excellent
minds innately - don't you grin nor
scoff!" he almost spat
eyes
in almost harrumph mode!
Drew back apace, milder by taste
than nature. Not my fault, he reasoned.
I could see him; he was always open
if you looked. Anyone even remotely
authorial gets a touch omniscient about
him, if they make the fatal mistake of
believing the guy. I always had. We'd
just been joking well, after all, before
my inexplicable derail - and he hadn't
made his point yet! So agreeably not
so much affable, never too tolerant
- indulgent. He was about ready to go
on, sure
there would be no more such 'looks'
from my side. Not that kind. So seeing
this, I looked invitation further. Mild not
teased or teasing. Not timid, but meek
enough. He laughed well.
He indulged. Pretty always, he would
if you gave. Indomitable as iron, but
amenable to the forge. That suit of his
uncrumpled something lovely in sunlight
and shade as he, so I,
looked around
and breathed
in shade and sunlight. He took a long
sip,
"Ah, streetside cafes. Same street, different
world everywhere." eye contact: we're
back, move on: "Naturally, where was I?
"Humanity has overall on average a quite
excellent mind, so to speak. The living never
got so comparatively easy for most because
we got soft. We bore down like so many bears
and boars, seeking wildly for such softness. Only
because we found we liked all degrees of it. It
became eventual, general. So having grown by
increments 'gained' so conventionally wise," his
grin wry,
easy tiger "We - not unnaturally - lumbered
ourselves and each other up with bundles and
reams of NONSENSE. Whole systems of it!
Tacitly agreed - not in secret, either. Piece by piece
increasingly misfit! Piled up in clicks, more of impact
than fitness, but plenty of chance catch, we gathered up
and blared rising triumphs between us. Above our heads
grew a shining safety net. Who could doubt the result?
Increasingly taken in and learned in loose knots, hand
over hand the wet rope of culture slithers into us, drawn
in increasingly by ourselves. Avidly by rote, drawn, yes,
'shown'
in one sense, taught. But never taut - never more than a
soft limpness without limpidity. Or ever much scrutiny."
"A puddle, reflected in a public glare accepted, not much
examined." he
shrugged it off a bit. "It works"
"Like Plato's cave. Never much known, but learned.
Memorized, and so idly applied. With enough of us in
on it, most do fine. Any one's not so stupid, but we all
grow so in captivity. As we
each acclimate to the feed."
"Now my mind, as you just observed, kindly
no doubt, meant so more to me than to us-"
I knew which he meant
"is-"
wince, invisibly turned
a tic shy of wry grin,
"Found 'different.'"
eyes
"I wish you could see, or everyone could -
by looking, at things, how same we sanely
are. How like. How kind we could be. We
so often are by odd, free turns. Capacity varies,
but captivity does not. Not much. Application
is where all degrees come really in, breaking
such education we have on reality's back, if
we'd just check."
I nodded. So did he. A comic effect
in context. On he went, so far pleased
apparently:
"My mind trains itself. It's a habit of taste with
me, and the easiest thing in the world to feed.
I don't bring it up," he finally
laughed, seeing my look "but it comes up! Often!
And the sole difference if there is one is this.
[ I listened for the colon, came up full stop. The
man's elocution was that clear, if you knew
him ] I am" pause
"not taught so much. Oh I was." faraway look, no
sigh,
almost,
"but my mind was always and only wild, though. Upon
anything and all, wild and willed. I kept it on things. In
them, it trained. Just trained by nature
to spot and trace differences. I fed it, yes, but
it led me to every step, and -"
"There it is. World of difference between a mind trained
of itself on reason and sense, catching as catch can by
reality. At every step, each fork: I look first,"
"Then see. So many other minds see all their way
in thought, and follow behind it lamely. Blind-led
by a tether felt good, bad, ultimately indifferent to
whatever won't break expectation too much." a pang
a wince drawn out brightly, some point stuck in him
through heart quivering in bone:
"But you bite your tongue first next time! Good sir, people
- persons! Human beings - are not stupid."
he paused, thought that out.
"Not overall. Nor by nature."
Shrugged.
"We are taught. Or trained. Or both. Depending
on who does what, by what course, the difference
is dangerous."
This guy.
I spread my hands winningly,
helpless,
to concede.
He saw, but perhaps could not believe
I understood all that claptrap. But
he knew me. And was almost
unreasonably pleased by the
outcome
as I knew by then
was usual with him
perhaps the most complicated simp
in the world, perhaps a god among
motes, but one himself: with a simplicity
complex. What could you do with the
man? Find him work if you can.
He does well, in his immaculate
wondering blunderful ways. And always
somehow looks
the part. A greatest detective
you could ask.
No comments:
Post a Comment