"She's giving up Pad Thai"

She loves Pad Thai! But I guess that
it's "loved." She'd eat it all the time.
She'd even take a picture first. Her,
in front of a beautiful steaming plate
of Pad Thai, beautiful. Her face
with the most fathomless look. A look
of utter seriousness, as if "I must
investigation this dish."

I loved

those pics. So much devotion
and dare I say passion, in them.
Or passion about to be. Mind open,
primed by expectation to know perfection
is not to be expected, but hope in consummation

of what can be. Perfection sometimes.
A good and proven reason, for serious hope.

She kept eating Pad Thai, but
at some point she left off taking
a picture. Which was fine - it was
a whim to begin with! But I was glad
to have witnessed that look. So intent,
so into it. So interested. She kept eating
Pad Thai, kept mentioning Pad Thai - when
I ate Pad Thai with her, I think I saw that look!
But maybe not. Maybe it was always just a look
of concentration, taking a picture. Maybe that look

was her already knowing, even then, she'd be taking her leave

of Pad Thai. "My investigation, so deep and ongoing,
is almost complete. You've given me all you can,
Pad Thai!"

How can she give up Pad Thai? How
many favorite foods can you have? Food isn't
like music. Get sick of a song, sure. But food
becomes part of you! And you need it.

Food isn't like a song. It's like a person
who's part of your life. How

could you walk away from a plate heaping high
with an unending supply of what always seemed
to be your favorite?

As all the Pad Thai in the world, so
confident, happy a moment ago

watches you go?

I mean, it's fine, it's ok. Pad Thai isn't ME,
and she's free to eat what she pleases, or
what pleases her. Whatever she thinks will.
I don't want her to enjoy what she doesn't
want, just to please me. So I could say, "Ah!
So good to see you eat your beloved Pad Thai
you love so much! An enduring symbol
of constancy as its own reward." I don't
want that - I would never say that!

I might get that look.

The look that can't be fathomed,
but you think
it says "Here is a thing for deep and serious
investigation. I must continue. There

is always more and good to find,
in this most interesting and satisfying
dish. An absolute favorite,"

but maybe it says, "I wonder how much
more there is, that I can get into you?" Or
out of you.

Or maybe it says "do I look like a fool
paying so much attention to this?"

Or maybe it says "I hope that you don't
make too much of this." It's just the most

perfect and beautiful noodle dish
in the world. As I learned,

to my woe.

Big deal, they don't even do it right
half the time. Big deal

What did I even see?

in this