kinds of damage

Are you the one? Who

wants to be with
me? For real, I mean.
The one who sees -
maybe not a future,
specifically, yet, but
a road ahead, at least?
To who knows where,
but you know,
you want to find out
wherever it leads - and
for it to go on, and to go
together with someone. Which
in your case, that would
be me?

If you're the one
wanting that,
I mean.

Me,
I know that if you are not,
the one,

If it turns out you turn aside,
and bid buh-bye,

I will give in
to despair! I will
give up completely
- privately, mind you!
Someplace well out of your
hair - Oh! God

I'll miss your hair,
but not so's you'd know
about it, though.
I would give, so
completely and discreetly,
up.

On you, love. And
on love. Just

'cause I always do?

So many times,
I believed
too much. And too
many times I have given up.

So many times, I have given
all, given completely
and all the way,

for the rest of my life, or
intending to. Then had

to revise that estimate. And too many
times, because of it, I've given
completely and all the way up,

for the rest of my life, or
intending to. But

so many times, I've had
to revise that estimate, too.
Too many times I'd have one
last try. One very last chance,
I would give myself, because
someone convinced me that I
knew what I was doing, and why. Which was no
fault of theirs! Quite the opposite.

Such people are scarce, which is fortunate
and regrettable.

So too many times I had one last fall,
where all was destroyed,
again,
for life,
and there I'd lie:
saying "Damn it, that's all!
I have said 'That's all!' just
too many times, by now! That's it!

I'm through. Enough! For me.

I am done." So, if you are not

the one,

don't worry too much.

I'm probably not either,
by now. We can see,
but I probably won't be,
and that's ok.

I will say
we were right to try. At least,
if you think so, too? It was
probably just as big a risk,
for you. Wasn't it?

Were we right to try?
To see how it worked out?

Yes I know! We're not even there, yet!
I meant, hypothetically. Because
when I look at you, I say "We'd be

some fools
not to take a chance,
to try, to see! However it goes, or
how and whether it ends,"
Well,

wouldn't we be?
Does anything good end
well?

I guess we'll find out, or
I guess we already are, or
working towards. One way
or (hopefully not!) the other. But
if that's how it breaks, despite
our current near personal best
intentions, shared interests
and mutual joys - don't worry
about me.

I'll be ok, at some point
considerably past
that point. Perhaps I will not
recover with poise,
with aplomb,
but trust me.

I've been there
before, and too many times
not to trust myself.
And trust me, my trust
may not, but I

will tend to survive, and
probably, go on. Too many
more times.

But maybe this one
will be the time - maybe this time
a corner is turned?

And I won't claim anything
special,
or final,
or permanent
has occurred.

And I'll move on,
as if it's all de rigueur.