ooo m'
candy's got fuzz
must a fell on the ground
or been sticking around
in m' pocket too long
but I'm a suck on
suck on suck
on it anyhow
suck on it any
how suck on it
anyhow
candy's got fuzz
coulda been a little
while now, wrapper
came off, I'm a
suck on it anyhow
sure enough sweet
as it is, I'm a
look both ways
before a treat
and I pop it right
in my mouth
and suck on
it anyhow
a suck on
it anyhow
candy's got fuzz
I'm a suck on
it anyhow
candy's got fuzz
I'm a suck on
it anyhow
candy's got fuzz,
and I pop it
right
in my mouth
2 comments:
It was I who gave this the low rating. Don't like it. It's got a nice rhythm, but it sounds like it is being thought by someone of limited mental function (or possibly drug-addled), and I find that weird and unpleasant. Unless it's supposed to be a kid. In which case, good job embodying a kid. A really desperate kid. :P
I also don't like the accent or dialect imitation or whatever that is. "I'm a look/suck" whatever.
Hey, somebody else here loved it, so who cares what I think?
Although word verification seems to be making a rude, un-PC commentary as well. "Retedarp" definitely sounds insulting. Or like a right-to-left-reading program trying to spell "predator" and failing.
Well, that sucks. I had a followup comment, but it got lost. that always makes me so angry. I take the time to write it, and stupid blogger just eats it.
Anyway, there may be a glaring other meaning here I missed. Maybe not. Whether or not there is, I like that I can see someone may read it that way, whether or not it was intended and even though that isn't my preferred type of poetry.
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