the many uses of sourdough

Sourdough's density and malleability 
allow us to stuff thick-cut pieces of it 
into various crevices and gaps, to attract 
household ants

with their many uses. A large round 
of sourdough can often be drilled 
with inch-width holes to a hand's 
depth or so, lit on fire and thrown 
at a politician as an example to them 
of protected speech - provided it is 
first doused or soaked with a number 
of common accelerants. The internet 

will have details. For the romantic 
type, on-the-woo and desirous of 
meaningful copulation with that 
not-yet-proven special someone, 
sourdough is almost ideal 
to avoid

A curtain ten feet high and ten inches 
thick - composition: pure sourdough - 
might figure in a work of fiction in 
any key way you might devise, should 
this idea cue you to authorship. You 
may even let such a thing stand
in the background, unremarked, 
symbolizing the depths of depravity 
or similar. 

Many will tell you "sourdough" is 
an available breakfast toast option 
in this establishment. Take the hint. 
Look around at other tables. There's
only one reason a restaurant might 
put that out. The place is probably 

teeming with people who find
sourdough  
acceptable as toast! 

Or who at least 
are not repulsed 

to find others do. Do 
not judge the establishment 

for catering to culinary perverts 

and deviants. This is just a fair 

foul segment of the marketplace. 
To be in business at all you have
to serve 
them, too.

The sourdough
is probably an appeasement measure.
Decent places offer that
to avoid having to offer 
something worse. We 

who know the many uses of sourdough, 
though, do not begrudge its occasional
abuse or misuse as food unless forced
to endure it 
on a sandwich
we didn't order 
quite this way,
for instance. 

If the worst happens, 
don't acquiesce -
no matter how civil 
your deference typically
is. Forbearance here would
be no mercy upon others
standing meek and threatened
in the headlong forward path 
of the sourdough substitution maniac!

Send it back.
First, drill several
inch-width holes
into the sandwich
to about a hand's-depth, 
set it - DAMN IT! You

forgot to bring any number of common
accelerants, didn't you? Didn't you? EAT
that misbreaded sandwich then! Let each
bite bring penance and a lesson anew! You

were not prepared 

for such sandwiches. Were you? 

By the time you choke it all the way down
- next time, you

will 

be