units of beautiful

Based on you, and some others I know,

I'm developing an objective metric (a
system of measurement) for beautiful.

It helps if you think of beauty as
an elementary particle, or a particle
emitter, or rather

the stream of particles emitted, which has
both wave-like and particle-like properties. My theory
is that this partly explains why beauty

affects us so strongly. Call
the fundamental particle a "Beauton." Yes,
this is ugly but that will help

it be taken seriously.

A Beauton, like a Quark or a Voop, has things like
charge,
spin, and
"flavor." For example,
the flavor of a Quark can be: up, down, strange, charm, top and bottom
- much like a love-relationship interaction.

For a Beauton, the flavor can be: beauty, lovely, pretty, cute, gorgeous, handsome
and slut.

There are many other kinds, but I focus here
on those emitted by humans, not sunsets
or waterfalls. Particle spin

can be M or F. Do not
assume a binary, here

that does not exist in nature! Nor should you assume
one flavor is more or less beautiful than another. For more
on that aspect, see later. An emitted stream
of Beautons contains billions

of particles:

some spun M,
some spun F,

in every given stream. In addition, the emitted stream
of Beautons (which we shall call a "Beauton stream") is a spectrum
composed of
multiple flavors. Taken together,
the relative proportion of constituent Beauton flavors,
and the spins of each

is what forms the specific and unique impression
of beauty. The eye

trained to recognize
and differentiate between,
will readily discern the type of beauty by the word

that springs to mind. But so canny an observer cannot
fail to note

that often, more than one thing
will spring to mind! When exposed to beauty,

This is natural - and accurate. Do not mistake
the flavors as ranked, or hierarchical
in any way.

The intensity of the Beauton stream is what governs

the magnitude of effect. A pretty girl
may,
in prettiness,
exceed by far the gorgeousness
of a gorgeous one, and both

may be cute as all get out,
or cuter. It's not complex, just a measurement

from an instrument

sufficiently sensitive to detect
the intensities and proportions of each
of the flavors and spins emitted. Admittedly,

some instruments
do respond more strongly
to this or that kind. This is why

it is so important!

That random observers will congregate,
and share findings. They would do this
anyway, but I cannot overstate
its importance. Only thus
can we get a sense
of how one's instrument
calibrates, with respect to others.

We can all agree on respect to others. Foundationally,

it's what drives science. Although,

to be embarrassingly frank, some of these results
so eagerly shared, are in fact unrepeatable.

I will be presenting a paper, slightly stained, at the next
meeting of the Society

for Objective Findings in Matters Traditionally and Erroneously Considered Subjective. I trust

it will be received enthusiastically, and I

Thank you in advance,

for your kind attention, and
discerning eye.