the coming of happiness

As he walked away, out of sight
by now, he stood. He felt moved.
Something inside of him was pounding
and thrusting. Had been all this time,
beneath notice, but it was building now
and he felt his whole being gripping it.
Tensing, resisting the escalating pressure,
preparing
to lock in spasm against it
and ride it out as it finally peaked
and tipped over
sending rippling waves of seized days
and a confusion of glory and wilder
bewilderment, pulsing and pumping
and churning in its own expelled
and released, exultant moment of excruciating joy.

It was something he’d never felt, but
the familiarity haunted like a thing imagined
before. Something

too different-made-real to grasp
the precursor. What was this?

He knew he’d soon know, at least
what it was
if not what he thought it would be.

It was coming inevitably.

It felt inevitable, this build
could not possibly stop. Wait. It has
subsided. Gone away.

He broke into beaming, and began
walking again. Overthought it again,
he chided himself. Still,

some seed had been planted deep within, even if
fruition from his side had escaped. Whatever this was
it was wanted. Whatever it was,
it was both possible and real.