out of me

I had to get it out of me.
Not 'cause I want help. Deal with it.
Not to apologize, or con
commiseration soft along. Or even
to get sympathy. I have long had
too much in me, I had to get
it out.

That's all.

Don't overthink the suddenness
of fading crack a tick ago, and

oh

it

is

the

BALL! WHAT FORE
It's coming in
so slow? My reflexes is must just
kicking in! I'm thinking clean, connected
thoughts much faster than the nerve impulse
can reach my limb!

quick quick! jerk up to catch
as catch has once or twice been known
to do - or, failing that, to block

think fast! Just duck! No - does it quack?
SMACK! NO! OW! OH MY EYE! My orbital

knocked into space
from downward blow
past Asian paper-lantern
glow

oh what a world
oh what a waste.
I guess you know
I didn't
uh,
MEANT
to smack high arc to face, I just
I meant

I had to get
it out of me!

To go someplace. Who knows!

I never meant the moon
come back
I'm all alone eight billion
almost strong

on perfect day
that breaks again, again without
the tune you hum. Your body
does, from every cell
you spring. You sprung.

you were my astronaut,

I never meant
to put you on the pad
I launched you from

I hate
this hat. To wear
black hat ball cap, but man.

I am the villain
of the piece. Who knew? Why did

no one tell me?

I miss,
I bless,
at least you are
so far from me
we're each released.

A threat no more, I can't
hurt you, nor and/or me
the way we used to do,
without (apparently)
either of us noticing.

Was I so blind to never see?
Or you so mute, or me again
so deaf? I thought

we loved us. But
in retrospect now
history suggests

enough of hating it to flee.
I guess we did our best.
It must have been more bad
than I have ever seen, or

ever known. I did not see
or know at all. And

that

is why I dropped the ball.
It's on me now. And always was

I only couldn't tell, until
I got it out of me. I guess.
Don't fret (or care, my love)
that space

freed up inside
will never be
to let.