upsideways

It sounds like you’re nearing
a breakthrough
though.

A lot of the time
when the sum and balance
of life

piles up
to intolerable,
to a breaking point
in the weight of all things
not working great,

or at all -
- that’s the break.

That's 
when we fall,
in collapsing shape 
to the smallest thing
we can be.

And let go
of all
of it we cannot

hold. 

Which is 
everything now,
and nothing free. 

We see clearly.
More clearly,
enough. Because
each spike and blank
of pain picks out in sharp
unrelief, or limns a line
a difference before we
could not see. Between
harmless and harm. And
innocent grief, and shame,
and blame.

Whatever may be.
What’s harmless could even be fine.
Could even work. With enough
stronger things in the mix!

But it’s killing you,
everything out of sync.
Imbalancing force.
Contentment's thief
has cleaned you out,
left nary a scrap. 

When nothing is working
you can't tell the cat from
the bird from the dog, or
the ground from sky. You

can’t tell the difference
between harmless and harm,
or live and die.

The whole machine has gone
out of whack. Some call it rock
bottom.

A terrible place to reach,
but there is a bottom,
there.

No farther to sink.
And clarity finds us up
and around what, who and where. 

We see what we need 
all the clearer
with everything 
removed. The mix
and morass in which

we bleed. 

In the sudden right moment 
of everything wrong, sometimes
we come 'round fast indeed.