both and neither

Despite my arrogance,
I would rather be grandiloquent
than vainglorious. This is because

"grandiloquent" sounds like
I can talk both big and well -
true, too true. But "vainglorious"

sounds like I charge into battle
vainly, in a vain cause - one I'm far too sure
to lose - and purely for the sheer
and utter glory of it.

Which I don't do. Ever,
in fact. I pick my battles
meekly, never selecting

vain ones.

Complicating matters,
neither word means
what I think it does. I can tell,

because I looked them up. I'll look
them up again, after this moment
is done, but I expect

they'll still mean some bullshit
that doesn't describe me at all. Sucks,

because what a couple of great
-sounding
words