With a power that belies our deceptive grace,
we vault via breathtaking triple-lutz
into first place - on points,
and for style,
to a technical disqualification for skating naked.
Well, for goodness and gracious sakes! We have always
been in training, making
for the finals
for some impersonal best world record - maybe,
I say maybe,
we should shoot for something more. Forget
the Games, the record, let's break it
I will steal gold
if you distract China,
we can totally make it.
We have no drugs.
Performance-enhancing or otherwise - the others
can't compete against us, but
how 'bout we let them catch up,
if they will agree to split the score?
Hey what is this stuff?