expectation gunmetal blues

Expectation
to me, is the
made-up bullshit
I substitute for how
things really are - which

is a joy to discover. Which

I will NEVER discover
with expectation in the way - or
I will be disappointed. By something

that if
received in
welcome would have
been better better better
than expectation fulfilled. How low

the bar, expectation. Hope

is omnidirectional,
undemanding of specific
form and expression. Hope
latches to all good on sight,
with reflexes faster than humanly possible
in time, you will realize them
faster than light. Expectation

stands there frowning.
More than hesitates. It
consternates. And is more
than lost: it is disillusioned.

Expectation is unnecessary for
goal, for
aim, for
plan, for
any design. Especially,
I put no expectations on anyone.
I have no expectations of anyone.
Because if I could have anything

I want,
I would want
what they want
from them.

Not my preexisting and diseased condition
expectation.

Expectation is
a deliberate attempt to inflict
fiction on a reality that blows
fiction away regularly. And then disappointed
when it comes up no-match. Blind
to how much better it could have
been, if you could only react

without a made-up millstone around the neck.
Ratcheting down reality by every notch
it fails to catch in the irrelevant
unnecessary, sub-optimal hook
that you outstretch

That's
Expectation.

It is the worst thing on earth
next to disappointment.

All the other worst things
don't hang out by disappointment.
Too cool for disappointment, those
other worst things.