Run it forward.

Run it forward. 
It's a ball, what did 
you think it was! Take 
it as a handoff! I'm trying 
to give you your one shot

at getting creamed or rising 
to the top in that damn dance 
you're always practicing! Wake 

up! Earth to superstar, are you 
ready for your closeup? Because 
there's one huge superzoom zeroing 
in all beady from the other side - take 

it, before it's not mine to give! FOOT 
BAAAAALLL - oh, that did it? 

You got it? Good! 

Run it forward fast. Now, 
please. Nobody needs 
another somebody-done-wrong
post-game one-touchdown-too-late 
too-short celebration skit - no matter 

how cute the views and butts look
on endless replay. Neither ball nor foot 

will fit far enough up your 
ass to justify the cracks 
in the postgame analysts'
bitter, convoluted,
hilariously blown
calls, let alone 

all the broken
minds any fan can
easily see in the stands,
if they could unglue 
their eyes from the 
botch job abomination
unfolding approximately 
on-field, still. Still.  

Hey what the hell. 
Who was that guy? 

Where'd he get 
the cute suit? He
wasn't even on 

the team! Holy 
cats, go catch and sign 
that kid, huh? Did 

he really just go 
there?

Not so fast. Wait.
Late penalty. Who's 
it on? Damn referees'll 
have to sort all 
this out now. 

Play it back. Do-over! 
No re-do please
don't take
any wooden
lessons from that crap
you just pulled. It won't 

play twice the same way. 

Are you ready? GO! 
GO! It's a ball!

damnit 

another win/loss 
drops in the columns 
tomorrow, I bet. OK
Let's get it back next 
play! Breathe! Think!
Not simultaneously!
Is it still you getting
the handoff again?

Who coached this
playbook, your dad?
Probably not, but Bob's
your uncle I guess.

Somebody over there sure likes
you, or the way you don't 

run right yet.

Fools everyone! 
Once upon and twice 
if you're lucky,

any given Sunday. 

Say, why don't we put 
this one on special teams,
or D? Maybe

he can run it back.

A complex game of teams, 
some say with admirable 
simplicity. But it gets 
trenchant fast, once 

the ball - you know, 
that thing I keep trying 
to hint you with? 

Oh shit. 
It snapped. 
The ball snapped 
in half.

You didn't have to take
it so hard, sport! 

Ass-slaps all around, 
we'll get it back.
Next play.

Maybe. 
Think positive, 
pray hard and heave 
it all up. For once, 

let's pass! Please 
please please 

Yes! Great! OK, 
you know what to

do, everybody but 

mister exceptional here. How 
the hell can that jackass be
the team-star? Some fix
is in, but damn

It might work huh?

Hope 

is the thing that
beats wings off
and on, mostly
in the offseason,  

for all of us
on this big team

but one.