serenity prayer

I can't be good
for others anymore
It's getting so
I don't remember when
I knew when I was right
It's getting so I
can't see why I thought
I was someone to like
It's getting so I can't
believe I'll ever feel
or be that way again
Times like these
come every day, and
Lord,
I need to pray
for something
Please, stretch out
that Michelangelic hand -
I know I'm no Adam, I'm
no San Francisco either
I know I don't need to be
original,
here.
I just need what everyone wants:
I want to keep honest
no matter how many lies
I fall for
like a chump
I want it not to phase me in the slightest
I want my devotion
to crush my doubt
every damn time
I don't want to care
whether I'm being lied to or not
I want to make a choice: to trust,
then act accordingly
- like a fucking idiot!
as necessary.

I just want
to love, and to be able
to act, always,
as if it's true.
I don't ask for miracles,
for it to really be true.
I just ask help. Please help
Release, let go
all my best guesses,
all my favorite
worst suspicions, and
everything I always feel so
maddeningly, cynically,
sickeningly sure of
Let me surrender all that,
and everything else,
as much as I can
to love
Let me do everything right
and take whatever consequences.
Whether she does or not,
I want to be the one she can

trust