the sudden meaning

A sudden heft in mind's hand 
has dragged your still-hot words 
down to stomach and beneath

What I thought you meant 

was bad enough, not great, but
this (the sudden meaning) could be 

also, and 

I don't know how to ask. What if 
I ask and you skewer me for even 
thinking that of you? What if 

you freeze like ice, realizing 
how little I suddenly know 
of how you know me? 

What if I shut up to hear what 
you follow this up with? 

What if it's nothing?