Warning to women above eighteen

(If you are not 18 or above, STOP)
(I mean...keep going, read off, nasty) 
(If you are not a woman, for instance 
if you're 18 and up but gendersexually
identify as "girl" still, GROW UP) 

(Kidding! I honor it, but for all still 
reading - for all my overage "girls" 
out there: WARNING!)

Exposing your tits to strange "males"
(so rudely-called) risks inviting a 

misinterpretation.  

Now bear with me. Here's the perverse 
part. All the guys not-gay (which is okay
- plenty of guys aren't, it's normal) (also) I'm
aware of who've voiced any say in the matter
are PRO-THAT!

WHY? 

One can only surmise non-gay "males"
just enjoy misinterpretation opportunities.
They love it. Well, not all misinterpretation
opportunities (#NotAllMisint-you get the
idea, I'm not typing all that shit out) (line
breaks alone - problemo) where the hell

was I?
Oh yeah. Hence the warning, because while
I bet most (#NotAlmost) all women reading
this can somehow tell not-gay guys (in
general) are prone to missing the tits 
interpretation (too obvious to miss that 
miss, miss! Not when it's in yo face), it
still seems hugely weird that such guys

love such misinterpretation opportunities.
Counterintuitive,

ain't it? 

So yeah.
Hence the warning. "Don't risk your tits
without" a fuller appreciation of how much
that kind of guys tends to love a chance at
misinterpreting them, which - honestly,
what's to misinterpret? Boom! 

Tits. 

Go literal, guys. Sometimes a cigar, you 
know. 

It probably doesn't mean a very special
moment has occurred, fanning out in spokes
and forking paths of causality to move worlds
and change lives! DUH. She is probably NOT

trying to hint you should oi, pop an engagement
ring on the next, nearest exposed nipple you see!
PUH-leaze, that's a tawdry, tacky spin to put on
it, plus some otherwise

unromantic
shit
right
there, "bud"

"Sorry!"  

(OK done. Thanks for reading, ladies. Sorry
to you too, but
you know
bad truth
is best to know, and you know how some
so-called not-gay "males" get about any body
parts they notice they don't have. Big Deal City: 

Next ~4 billion exits: WARNING) 

Afterthought: butts. The weird thing is, these 
are a huge point of interest for het men! But 
...we all have butts. Both sides of the offensively 
posed binary model (totally unrealistic proportions 
there, yo) have a butt on one side. The backside, 
it's called. Why the big interest, so-called "het
males"? Compensating for something? Or is it 
just 
you can't
find your own
with both hands!! HAHAHAAAHA

OK, that's a cheap shot, real sorry, but
it was a wonder

Or as this Brit I know once put it, "It's

a fair cop"

Well, that's all
her call, then! Honor
it

I think she might have 
meant something else