My same damn say as you jzu ul

I want to say gratitude to you. 
Gratitude. 
For our whole reaching tentative
to stretching-out luxuriant association 
of mutual bumpy-surprise joyride, overall 
- which from my side, it has been - I just want 

to say gratitude 
to you. Gratitude. 

Surprise seems unexpected past a point 
you know some person so well it has stopped 
occurring to you that moments in play 
and things at stake could wrong-way turn 
'til you both fly off down unknown roads 
of not wanting to know this person any more 
(let alone better) than you were already forced
to, under false pretexts or pretense. You, they
or the universe (always in on it) convinced you 
they were a dead-ringer for your idea of them. 
Sold you that THAT was who they truly duly were, 
bank on it! 

Well, you did but 

sometimes someone steals the whole bank 
out from under your account - and then
what's in your wallet? A fat wad of dog-eared
I.U.O.'s written by someone who verifiably
never existed: your impression
of who they really were. 

In the rare case you've gone so far 
down so good and bad a stretch of ground 
with someone who gives you always to know 
who they are, so it's always someone unquestionable,
so it never any longer occurs to you, even 

- that some mistake could be made, or was. That's rare!
But surprise in such case is even rarer, somehow,
or ought to be you would think. How can reliable
surprise? All reliable no predictable in the mix?
What hocus pocus focus pull misdirection trick
is this? Surprise ought to be long since dissolved
in the gravy of this savory stew, a definite note
in the flavor profile - can't surprise you then.
You'd be surprised at its absence! Yet surprise
is never far from you, though. Let alone continual
low-level wonder and delight at someone 

who reliably, consistently never is
and never was my idea of you. Just 
a delight and a surprise that defeats it
in single combat every time that dim
doppelganger steps onto the same 
stage, or in the same ring 

with you. 

What shocks me is how responsible you are. 
You are responsible for how I feel about you, 
and even more responsible for how childish 
and avoidant that sounds. You're responsible 
for my opinion of you, always so high, proves 
consistently by degrees low. You're responsible 
for things about yourself that you can't control, 
things about yourself that can't possibly be 
things about yourself, but that no doubt 
belong as features and attributes to my 
idea of you, just hanging around on skulk mode, 
stoopin' on the down low waiting for the foregone
-conclusive showdown where you show up and

They're shown up, 

As you stand forth real, like I knew you were 

just...not that way
which is why I want to say gratitude 
to you. I say 
gratitude. 

I know it's a bit cryptic, 
unconventional use, but 
wouldn't you be surprised 
if it wasn't?