law firm radio ad

Accident? Dog bite? Mesothelioma? 
Some bull's hit you can't pronounce, upon
or otherwise? We have sued karma and won.
We take on all cases you can't make heads 
or tails of. We'll figure it out when you can't, 
and if there's money in it, we won't take dime one 
of yours until it's all ours. Somewhere out there, 
bold and hot in indignant memory or recoverable
via hypnotic release of suppression, something 

happened to you.

We want that. That's our job. Trust us this far:
Somewhere out there the money involved
and implicated by your loss is sitting
in somebody's bank account waiting for us
to slap your name across it and take our cut.
That's fair - the business we're in. We stand

ready to make it boom

for you.  

Maxon, Cline and McFitzheltz have made a name
in the storied business of taking on the big guy
for the little guy and making him suck
the little guy's dick. Watch the teeth, dude
- sounds like a lawsuit. We take on all cases,
women too. Sounds like a lawsuit to you?

We think so,
but. 

Maybe you prefer to bitch out like a punk
and take it on the chin from the whole wide 
world your whole life. So far, you have  
- haven't you? Ever make the other guy(s), 
gal(s), guys and gals or whoever else it was 
PAY? 

Well how about the rest of your life? Are 

you gonna?

Come see us. Call first. Set up an appointment.
You will find we do not set up disappointments
- and your first and every meetup with us is free.
Not dime one of yours shall we pocket, 
'til the windfall comes to cover us
all in our money. 

Yours and ours. You, I expect 

want yours.