best trick

Oh my gosh. This is
my best trick. But then
I don’t have much in the 'ol
trick bag, as fundamentally
truthful as I am (not scrupulous
or with a moral motivation,
necessarily. It’s just so damn much
more effective, you know? An enlightened
load, easy to forget). So as we’re talking

I’m listening, engaged; my gaze
slips down to the speaker’s cheek
back up to eyes, slight distracted, back
down to rest on cheek - and:

(looking back to meet eyes,
brushing my own cheek in mirror
location): “Go like this with your
face.” Brush, brush my face. Look back
to their cheek. Back to the eyes
with a brush, brush. It’s high up

on the cheek, so if they brush
I look lower, wince: “Go like this
with your chin.” I see how far
I can work it down the body

without being punched. Typically once
the phantom lint hits the chest, the jig
is up. They can see: “Where?
Where? I don’t see it.”

"See what?"

See, I never said
there was anything. I just said

go like this!

When someone does it to me
(trick version or otherwise), I
draw them in. “Something what?
Describe it.” I ask probing
questions, pointed but brusque,
businesslike, elicit more and more
telling detail. Finally they’re like
“JUST BRUSH IT OFF!” Finally I’m like,
“You do it. You saw it, I don’t wanna touch
that thing.”

Lean face helpfully in.

“You’re already touching it! It’s on YOUR FACE?”

Oh, really. Mild surprise!
“Oh, is it?” Pointed pause.
Sheepish smile, “I thought you were just
funnin’ me!” This is the classic
you wanna get nuts? Let’s get nuts
point, but with more sangfroid: I look around,
grab the biggest free scrap of cloth
(usually short of removing my shirt) nearby,
remove my glasses and rub the whole cloth,
flipping over to both sides, vigorously
into my face, making sounds of satisfaction
and comfort. “Ahh.” "That's good."
Like a spa treatment! Then

recompose myself and pause
as long as necessary. Face buffed
to rosy glow. Eventually me:

“Did I get it?”

I always get it