feel like dreaming

I don't feel like dreaming
I feel like being awake,
and looking across the room,
or turning over
and looking at the near wall. I feel
like reading another book,
again. I've read them all
and my left pinky finger
has gone numb, I think, from
the way that I prop myself up.
It's hard to read in bed on your back,
especially the heavy ones. I've read them all,
but I'm still somehow not sure
how some of them end.

I won't skip a page on the way there.

If I remember early, well, I'll either
stop or keep going. There aren't really any
other options for me. I don't feel like eating,
because the dishes need cleaning and I don't feel
like shopping for food. Anyway,

I don't feel like dreaming.
But maybe I'm only avoiding you