It's kind of about
this someone with flaws
that everyone knows
and nobody calls.
For they love this someone
some much, some sure
- their opinion can't stand
to come or to get to know
anymore. And
them's the breaks! For that's
all she wrote, or that's all he
makes, to want to care less
for each other, ourselves.
'Cause that's what it takes.
We call it "drift,"
place no blame either way.
We all keep such shelves,
and we all catch such drifts.
They all seem so sure, like
shining white snowed-upon
hills so pure, but the crust
can't hold weight unless
heart bears it up. So it
breaks and we fall
so deep. Suffocate,
sunshine
buttercup
but aren't they all random?
Sunday, November 21, 2021
Life's about
PUKE EYE.
Puke Eye,
the tummer one!
Viscerally insidious,
insipidly emotional -
cerebrally, though
he's hideous.
All of his friends
are such a mess. Ordered
and tucked and ranked
just so, they jockey
and shift positionally
hoping to catch Puke Eye
off go. Hoping
to catch
Puke Eye at It.
They're sure It is he
who's ordered their mess.
They've checked and rechecked
It against themselves, and except
for themselves, there's only one
common factor to guess.
It is he: "he he,
he he" he says going
gliding by, as if in a deeply
darkling hint: "Correct, it is he!
It's me! 'Tis I!" PUKE EYE!
They just cannot quite believe
the tint of their spectacles:
yellow and blue. "Oh say
can't you see it ain't so, Puke Eye?
Not you!" But they do not say
any such ain't-soings, yet.
They're afraid of each answer
that they might get. "How COULD it
be he?" One wise kind sighs. "He's
always so tummer?" "What's that
even MEAN," some dumbass
replies. "IT IS I!"
SAYS HE!
PUKE EYE! Had passed by
and listened in, see? And he is
in pat fact, the tummer one.
He never claims tummest.
His ego needs reins
to reign in such rains
as the sky downpours.
For the sun cannot see
such a crying shame.
If you want? Take a long,
damp look. It's yours.
The well I mean
The well I am in
is infinite
but the water
goes only halfway up
where I bob like a dork
shedding tears of joy
in bottomless hopes
I could fill myself
all the way to top
Saturday, November 20, 2021
heroic flaws
Green Lantern has a thing
for blondes. They make
him weak with
their hats not on.
Lex Luthor once gave Lois Lane
a Kryptonightie. Shame, man.
Shame.
Oedipus just limped
through life in proud defiance -
death for dad and mom for wife!
Exactly as foretold, foreswore.
Damn your eyes, man.
Fate's beneath us
to abhor
Friday, November 19, 2021
Chapter Vs
We know you
know these arguments
of ours
from each
and either sides,
and I know why
and I agree
you cannot seem
so true or false,
and cannot let
either/or lie,
or just
let be.
So I pull out
and cherry pick
best snippets from
your scripture writ,
and
- be the prophet,
since you must.
Because you are.
It's only just. But I
will be evangelist.
And we shall see
whose news is pressed.
And we shall see
whose good is not
nor ever shall be left
to rot, or missed a spot,
or hid beneath
a single bushel
basket, for
like thieves
in nights
we come in sneak,
each baring glaring
lantern lights
to put this thing
of ours to sleep,
perchance to let
it rest.
Postponing wake,
'til mourning must
and actually comes:
procrastinate, for you
and I,
know which of us
has always won.
pitier and pitier
I badly need to eat
more greens,
or maybe I need to
get more sleep, or
maybe my eyes
will degenerate
to the point
I longer see
mirrors weep
For pity's sake.
I have always said
that pity is mercy
that has no power
to spare.
And I think that's a
pretty apt sense! Except
that it seems I no longer
care.
Oh,
"Who cares, dares" I know.
Hogwash. Fiddlesticks.
Dumbbell cellar doors
doorbells broomsticks
bedknobs and awards -
Take so many wands!
Bundle up, bind them all.
Put spells on, toss bon mots
now we know this too-long
autumn is spoiling for fall.
Time for bonfires! Sorcery,
horsery piling on
to on high, let
chivalrous
wizards
catch hell
and die, all wrong
by dint of main strength,
puissance plus wisdom
dexterity spent.
Magical realists as well:
yes. You.
Let us have us a pyre,
with tunes to dance, too.
Set the light and smoke
mystery show between us
and dance, 'til the flame
turns blue as around we go,
until our last breaths - no.
Save two.
Just in case we each
think of one last word.
So concise. Lock eyes,
let beelines be,
and dive in
one time: on
a count of three. To see
who burns first,
and who
in this merriest hell
were we.
jubject matter
I shamface confess with a pirouette turn through carefree air: I thought it was funny, too! But thanks too for the backup and test. 'Cause I doubted my judgment. I do that the best. I have reason to. It's pretty much what reason's for! In the critical faculties (observation, reason, judgment) doubting judgment is reason's primary almost sole function galore. Meanwhile observation's off like "doot-di-doo" not minding the store.
If you rock that balance from the top of your object mind, slam down to the bottom of heart, and let it bounce back up! to your hand-clap catch?
That's pretty much you in the sane. Some match
but it fits as it does. And it misses galore! 'Cause the way that aim kisses all targets is pure whether score is awarded, or wins handed out - you know by the target what the doubt of your judgment's about. See you've had more than share in that stake. More than most of good reasons to care, dare, doubt, brag, boast, shimmy-shake, but
when hindsight looks back and winks?! We get mad.
That ain't how I act no way mom dad
Thursday, November 18, 2021
hard karma
Karma is the world
you make for yourself,
of people who know
how you really are,
in what you give:
of yourself to know,
for them.
Shine on,
consistent star.
hint of horror
The ugly fancy fits and starts,
in unmade bed of senseless parts
to settle into rumpled sheets,
by stimulus we incomplete
in pattern-recognition spurts.
In children's minds of innocence,
hard-lit by cinematic light,
we spot something.
It slides right in.
It didn't hurt.
It's made-belief.
We're never even noticing,
until the world adds
one new piece,
and context keyhole finds
its key.
So sliding in insidiously
to hit
the back and turn, and turn,
as tumblers fall and click:
we learn.
The purpose of our knowing this
was all this fit, to turn to start.
Ignition switch has fired spark
to ramrod course down slippery slope,
desensitized to all off-road, we rocket
from the starting line. Abandoning
all prior hope, intent upon how horrible
the world's revealed to be,
oh no.
Not us.
Not me. It's all this stuff,
those understandings cracked,
misspent, I see
I have. To straighten out,
now
sorry!
go
and so
each story went.
boubakiki
There's a problem in America.
The problem is those black or dark
gray things you see littered or strewn
on sidewalks, by curbs, or just over
the curb in the street.
What are those things.
They're little teeny tiny and
some of them if you close-inspect
run to spiky, others far more round
and bumpy bulbous. They appear
to be just
shapes of some kind, nonliving
- where do they come from? Some
by-product, side effect? Do others
see them? I ask surreptitiously but
they do not answer. Do they answer
others? Who would put them there
and not tell why? Is it part of the
natural world, or another quirk
or consequence of artifice? It's
even possible it's not a problem.
If
there's no solution,
it's not a problem.
Just another feature
of reality
Wednesday, November 17, 2021
epiphany slip
no
a second or two, tops
I gave in. Didn't
even know
I was fighting it
I don't think I was,
but
I felt
the strange edge
of a feeling like
what if I cared?
About what people
think? About me?
People I don't even
know?
I didn't so much
imagine that mattering
as let the edge bleed in.
And it felt so bad.
like pain.
It was not
like the pain
I knew,
so
the sheer
unfamiliarity
made it almost worse!
Hey! In that moment,
of falling further maybe
all the way in. And then stopped.
And it all fell away. Mind-blown.
What a weird bad rush.
Surely I have felt that way
before,
as a child, maybe
not.
But I
feel some epiphany,
now I know. And I think
that I do.
Compassion ordering.
I need to level up
The question was
The question was
which pleonasm bothers me most.
Me, you hear! That’s rich.
I’m the superfluity express!
The paragon of excess
plus twenty percent gratuity, bristling
with gratuitous tips and tricks.
I sing the tangent electric! I jump
tracks on trains of thought, rail
and rerail all the way back
and recouple the left-behind cars
with a jolt that carries straight through
to the misplaced but suddenly regained
prodigal caboose (“oh yeah, that’s what
we were talking about eighty minutes ago!
Thank you that was killing me!”). Then
full steam ahead!
All aboard all hands on deck pulling
on down the line through direct
to the station.
Freighted
with more meaning
than strictly necessary, overspilling
all over on all sides - we done ourselves
proud, and the people
can take what they want!
The rest was necessary. But
we’re hardly interested in that.
the moralist
Betrayed by his enemies,
stabbed in the back by foes,
he turned to his allies and colleagues and found
acceptance. Succor. Tolerance.
Love.
Faith,
hope and trust
in humanity restored! He
returned to his enemies, lesson
learned: I must just have
to trust these people.
That's what did it
before
That's what does it
always
Monday, November 15, 2021
cineaste business
The troubled production
of this film classic is
sheathed in layers
of myth and mystification,
anecdote and dogmatic
tenets and decrees.
The original director
- so his story goes - was
brought on under false pretenses,
and made the film what it was
so far. When the star signed
on, the whole focus changed
and the people became cynical,
not expecting such a move. But
the new director, once engaged,
brought a reputation for short,
brutish, underscheduled production
way on top of the budget
- a cinematic assassin,
much approved by the suits, if
considered by critics the greatest
and most technically-proficient hack
in the world - and she'd brought
her own screenplay, for a
different film. Reenergized,
redirected, restarred and revitalized
by the addition of a love interest
and an entirely different story,
setting, and much improved themes,
the film was prematurely released
before principal photography - a
scandal that remains treasured,
discussed, tut-tutted and mocked
by all those who saw the initial
theatrical run.
A cultural touchstone
unique in the annals. Upon deep
explanation and apology, the film
was re-released - this time shot,
but essentially
the same film
and was hailed
as an instant classic
forever - last year. Now.
A hard-hitting new
documentary and expose dares
to ask: can its legacy
survive daring revelations
and trenchant critical reassessment
on this,
almost the anniversary?
Of what became the most epochal
influential paradigm-shocker
the film world's seen since.
For the answer? Wait
for next year's installment
of what
has been
inaugurated as
an annual reexamination
of this
deeply-seminal workhorse
of a film. Popcorn anyone?
Saturday, November 13, 2021
bad balance
I have no bad feelings about you
No bad feelings surrounding you
No bad feelings towards you
Just a bad feeling without you.
It isn't a palpable negative,
just comparing the state
when you're here, versus gone
and noticing all of the differences
in values and balances
missing you
strong.
Friday, November 12, 2021
extraordinary effects
Music is really
amazing. The first
purely abstract art.
All this sound, never
before made. Sometimes
we stir in echoes and apes
of natural noise, but
for the most part
it's a new creation.
As really, was language.
But with so much life
at stake to begin with,
its arts were not meant
to be abstract. Never
the less and more galore,
we achieve with it some
extraordinary effect.
Advance
During the Civil War,
given widespread opportunity
to test the most modern understandings
of psychology and psychiatry in the field
in the field, measures were implemented
to ensure those who participate in war
are sane.
Benefits were immediate,
far-reaching, and
I just made them up, but
they had long had ways
to find out who is insane
when everybody has guns
and you tell them charge
over there
where everybody also has guns,
being as threatening about it
as possible.
It doesn't take a Sigmund Freud.
Besides, Sigismund
was like five at the time.
He hadn't even got his
doctor degree
Thursday, November 11, 2021
ollie ollie oxen free
All ye out, come in free!
I, the monster hunting thee
to trace and spot and eat alive
am harmless, now. Come in
and hide
Tuesday, November 09, 2021
the truth set
The truth will set you free
but specifically, not generally.
And only from stupidity
you've discovered your error in
-definitely.
Sunday, November 07, 2021
hey sailor
My beard is become a sail
to set self into wind.
I tack to the point it most resists,
and it fills me enough to grin.
The pressure and flap
against my chest
lets me know that I'm
not wrong.
My beard is
become a sail, and I
am a sailor of hair
so long.
found missing
The relief in being with someone you missed so long mind and heart had given up, gone on, is palpable. Even if this once most important piece no longer fits, you've grown so without within that you see clear - first time - why you valued it.
thirst vs. pain
Thirst torments me even in small amounts.
I cannot get water. My tolerance is abysmal for wants I need, and I grow one goal. But pain is interesting. It fills me in one moment whole, and I have no need or want but to make it go. While it stays though, I find it compelling to know.
Coherence Critique Part IV: drip, drip
This is how
I determine
my writing
coherent.
I observe:
each point made, from basis to claim,
on merit:
of correspondence with truth,
discernible and demonstrable,
or that support's inane, unsane.
Unproof.
I measure: between and against,
by eye,
and I test
for conflict
inconsistency
discrepancy
contradiction
...with the whole,
with all parts
- in any and all
to see:
where I was unsmart.
If no point at any point catches
to wreck or distend the case,
or otherwise tends
to undermine, and supposing
some overall point is tended
towards and actually made,
it’s coherent.
An abysmally low bar! Really, coherence.
A case can be coherent, yet
- utterly wrong. That’s where
you bring external consistency
in. For coherence of a work, a case,
on its own: internal
consistency's enough.
For use in life, probably not!
Anyhow. I apologize for
my discursory manner. I recognize
in it a certain aesthetic wrong, by some
well-founded critic’s views,
and personal taste of gut and tongue,
and what’s more
I can’t disagree
with the justice
of their claims.
I understand the virtues in which their criteria
found, and are founded. There are, however,
other virtues. These, too have merit
and substance. Aesthetics, being
a matter of such taste, is supremely delicious
in my vulgar and screamingly bigoted view! I must
have
variety
or the equivalent! Or my palate grows nasty.
I must be the variety I lack in the world. Otherwise,
hey,
that
works too.
COHERENCE, my loves!
Let COHERENCE be your watch-word!
Mine is: “Doot-di-doo”
coherence critique part III: the revenge of mercy justice, OR, the balance of a runaway twain
Criticism can only have positive value.
The substance part
is no aether, but hard
correspondence to reality. Truth!
Which is of use, potentially! Even
Bad truth is good to know. Without
that correspondence to reality,
you've misclassified. There
is no substance in't.
Separate substance
from sentiment!
Know which is which!
For if you do, criticism
can have only positive value.
Accurate, itty, bitty, summy party (whether
“positive’ or “negative” is what's immaterial)
is therefore useful! Or else it is useless, worthless
- harmless. Let worthless be harmless, and let
harmless be.
The sentimental part
can only be good. Who keeps bad sentimental
value, honestly? A neat little row
of golden poo trophies
up on the mantle
for solemn regard?
No room on the mantel
for such doo doings. Even
a box in the basement for them’s
a useless waste of space, get it out
by the curb - displayed proudly
before the world!
Better yet, don't even pick
that shit up in the first place.
Let it drift, nothing there for you
- no substance! Let worthless
be harmless, and
let harmless
be.
coherence critique part deux: el response
Still.
I can’t quite dispute
the sheer, yet diaphanous force
of the steely beam of just light
you dropped out of a dark cloud,
clonk
on my throbbing knot.
(Head)
It’s a fair cop.
“Coherence” is not really what’s being critiqued
here, but:
a lack of elegance.
Simplicity
is the sprung prong of elegance,
and must be observed. What is present
should be present for a purpose, and serve it.
What is present should be
what would serve in that place best,
the purpose of the whole. Each word
the best right word and none lesser. All
needless words omitted, as per Strunk
& White: all that does not serve, all
that is purposeless,
should be gone to ghost before any other eyes
than author-omniscient’s ever beheld such right,
mighty work.
Elegance
is above all spare, there is nothing extra
in it. Every spar
and strut bears weight,
in such a balanced way
the resulting edifice - rises
as if weightless! Borne up
in the light streaming through
its clear and unstained three-story,
clerestory or howevermany windows.
Now that’s a prose-job! Gotten up
on the populace for the express
purpose of their edification
whether they like it or not!
When you yank out a lead-weighted
sap like that and clap it across the back
of their skull just-so, they can’t help
but drop
like a sack of wet asparagus. Beguiled
by your elegant prose. Bravo,
author!
I won’t say I do it, or have ever done it.
I won’t even say that’s my aim. I will say
I’m a dab hand at blackjack.
My problem is I amble a bit too much. I love
too much
the view and the way, maybe. I love
finding ways out, and tumbling down
off them (it’s a bit of a bluff).
If all I say
does not conflict
or contradict with itself,
within its parts, if the whole
hangs together and is not at internal odds, then this
technically
suffices for coherence.
Incoherence is where no
point is made at all, where
parts are disarrayed
to no discernible aim, OR
where parts actively torpedo
each other to undermine the whole.
Psssh! Psssh! Psssh! BWOOOM
*glub glub glub*
That is not my problem,
though at a cursory examination
- due to the flourish outré
here and all through the oeuvre,
the tell-tale touch of elaboration present,
the as-I-call-it discursory
(portmanteau of “discursive” and
“cursory,” naturally, which means
whatever it suggests) character
of the progress as a whole - it may
be hard to spot the scheme's design.
Too much opulence. The diametric
"other end" of luxury's pole,
from the end at which
elegance simply sits.
There is a design, though, and it does
hold. If it doesn’t I should know the reason
why. I should be surprised to find
the point of direct conflict, pointed out
- surprised and gratified, and grateful
by the way, everywhere curiosity and wonder
are indicated!
No workman even so projectile-workmanlike
as I ever has so perfect a mastery over
his own gaffes and blunders as to doubt
even their possibility. I’m sure
awry and amiss
are not omitted
to perfect degrees
from my self-ostensibly kickass body
- of work that is, which includes
my body and brain, but more vision
and voice held in mind by aim. Yet
in a given piece of ass-kicked,
or slapped, or seized upon
and smothered with kisses
- I kick ass at that, but
call me no "kiss-ass" please
unless you want a smack
and know where, and
are prepared to bear
and bare it without shame,
shamelessly. I am,
though,
reasonably satisfied
in my monstrously critical eye: it hath
its flaws. But it does make a detectable case,
and it does not conflict in itself.
Not habitually, and fair reliably.
It is coherent.
Still. I’d hardly fault the critic whose eye
rests more heavily on those ungainly-to-some
surface deficiencies of style and ornament.
That opulence too profuse to be called tasteful!
This bareback riding of the living language
in a rude display of high-horsemanship too
unruly and indeed, uppity, to be called
"ennobling" to anyone. This ostensible
"super-equinimity" - as if to ride on iron
U's roughshod upon a horse above!
Or making flourish and bucking panache
in as-if a "higher horsemanship"
then the common! "Extraordinary!"
All call it who read that far! But
take it apart! Extra ordinary
is no more and no other than
abnormal!
Indeed, I’d thank such a critic profusely!
I’d offer him or her my shaking hand, fumble
out words of perfect true gratitude - sincerely,
I’d hand them a brimming and wobbling chalice
or goblet (their choice - the vessel with the pestle’s
got a kick to it!), overflowing with bright and
staining libation. Whoops! I done ya proud, there,
sorry.
Always happy to receive criticism. Criticism
is the ape of art, and makes away with it
as if rapaciously - yet the result? In defiance
of all the world’s mores - is a happy and lasting
union! And the baby they (art and critique) together
produce is a monster.
Hi
coherence critique
Ah, geez.
One rude glance up and down
the extent of this
is enough. The eye
picks up the tell-tales
- deeper scanning confirms the verdict:
This is discursion. Cursory,
digressive. A stream-of-consciousness
bilge-barge that slides
continually past us out in the harbor
as we wait by the raised bridge,
hoping for it eventually to be over!
Distracted by impatience,
examining the haul. Good
point made…other point
made, strong development
…sideslip into irrelevant
and soi disant “charming
or amusing” tangent…point A
made again…point C introduced,
relevance unclear but seemingly
-independently valid…point B
made again, far more strongly
…tangent
…PARABLE? An…apparently
parodic quasi-bible parable, which
illuminates the central case, if there
is one, only in the most garish, cinematic
German-Expressionist lighting and deep
startling shadow. Point C
made again! Relevance established
by some unsuspected back-door, point
A made again and we end on point B!
Bridge lowering! Go go go drive!
What did we think? In short,
it goes on too long and says both
too much too many times, and
too little too well - though to do it
justice, the too little it says too well
it does say too, too well. Almost
a little too too-too. Its preciousness
offends and belabors the eye! The
author
apparently
intends to make us the audience, japed
from the stage, by a magic trick far
too obvious to even bother spill the secrets
of! We know. He or she (in this case, he he he)
is frolicking and gamboling in the annals
and canals of language analytically, and
in top hat, cape, and combat boots to boot, and
- nothing else!
So arrayed, in foray far too often straying
into and through available ditches and mud-holes.
What is his purpose?
To entertain?
To self-indulge?
It’s bad enough to use English
in a masturbatory way to gratify
one’s own performative urges.
This fool
seems to think
he’s got a hand on
not his own but the language’s
junk! And is riding it like a hand-pony
to ignominious victory in a steeplechase
where the stakes could not be more low.
Or be more concise! It’s maddening.
Maddening.
I should not have had
to read all that
to get what I got out of it. If someone
clearly can write they ought to have
some obligation to quality. This
is not literature,
it is vomitus ejectae.
Yeah.
You and me both,
buddy. Nice fake Latin,
too.
Friday, November 05, 2021
Who dies in a place like this?
Coming in home
from a longish trip,
I found a body
in my house. It was mine,
since nobody else lives
(or lived) there. I figure
if it ever used to be anyone
else's, it was mine now and
I didn't want it. My responsibility
ends nowhere. In all my life,
it's been mine to deal with,
like a cross or a burden of proof,
always. This fucking thing
won't be doing that anymore,
I guess.
The scene
of the evidence
keeps changing, since
every room I go into
the body is there.
Sometimes
it comes back to life,
making it all the harder
to explain. Stiff limbs
limbering and it feeds
itself automatically.
It gets by, apparently,
with a little help from my
mind and heart, and
I admit it's a little sad, now.
I picture it still alive,
whenever it's not. I just feel
like that would be a happier
way to look after it. Keep it
going, and fit, in between
rigor mortis bouts, where I
assure you.
Dragging that thing around
is no joke.
Even for a man my size, I
could use a little cooperation
from any body
that expects
to be in every room
I go.
Honestly, I
don't even know why it wants
to.
low animal cunning
Squirrels,
squirreling things
about by hidden
hoard, in secret
nook, apparently
forget their place.
So cunningly do
mental notes slip
mindfully as leaves
from books.
And so our hungry critter
starts! In frantic scamper
of unknowns, in hopes
to find some fund
of nuts
Some squirrel hid
stupid, careless,
klutz. He finds!
But does not recognize:
he found his own,
and that -
is what
makes such a prize.
So busy squirrels
take stock and sock it
squirrelly ways,
to fill the world
with so much nuts
it really doesn't matter
whose. Whichever role
you play:
All-wise and miserly,
discovering another's
hoard - right where you
left it! Every nut here's
yours, old bean. All present
and accounted for. Or
You could be the wily thief.
You case the joint
where tree limbs split,
and slip right in
to find their nuts!
Exactly where
they've always been.
Ever since
you put them in.
Squirrels leave presents,
squirrels play games
and tricks in secret ways
on selves. It's just
a neat adaptive twist
to keep the world
as stocked as shelves.
seeming eyes
I want us, instead of focusing
on the wants we had, and that
we have still, on all of this "what
we could be to each other" - I want
us
to step back,
and take our fill
of all that we are,
and have
and do not have to give,
but may wish! Since it's already
ours.
Right here in one's gift:
to another, to two.
No analysis.
No further examined reexamination
and inspection for suspect feature
perchance to flaw, perchance
to fall - and then scrambling
what do we do? No more.
None of that. No sequence,
no aim, no scales held
in balancing light, all wildness
and nothing to tame, to train
- not even of thought! Not even
a track to switch tangents
from. Just us. Just this.
Or for truest test:
only you.
From your subjective perspective
of course, only me. But that's
jejune, inutile stuff to point out,
dwell upon and eventually in,
raise not so much from foundation
as basement ("de basement" where
we like to hang out and giggle),
towering battlements and star
scraping spires of conjecture
fed by intellect shoveling heart
into soul's furnace and forge,
hoping for some homey, glowing
coals! Waste and disregard of
the real energy expense
and the power outpoured!
The intellect's a free king pyromaniac!
Whose scalpels are licking tongues
of flame, whose scopes and lenses
flicker and shift unpredictably, lost
in firegazing, consumed by ash
to smoke, and so to wood! - wait,
that's backwards. But so the intellect
goes in motions arbitrary. A backwards
reverse pyromaniac, subtly reasoning
back to cause: watching it all
unburn.
Let us seize the intellect for kindling!
Throw IT on the first available fiery
place! Dissect it! Subject it to rigorous
chemical and spectral analysis! Find out
what it's made of, and why it loves
pissing on the flames of emotion so,
and why it - it - wait.
Let us not and say we didn't.
We already did, between us, and
we have found to our woe: that
transcendent and annihilating
conflagration was nothing
to build on.
What I'm saying is, let's ditch
all that school biz and hit the beach,
to find what it is and why.
And what good it is.
What good are you,
I trust you already know,
but in case angles and aspects
escaped you into me, I will
let them out each in turn,
as I am struck again
by your seeming eyes.
Sudden knowledge
I suddenly felt like I knew it all.
I hadn't felt that since the day
I left school and came back
the next day for a decade
and years. That
was the equally sudden,
decisive feeling like I
knew all I could take,
and
would have to make room
for so much needless more.
This was different, and make
no mistake on that. This was not
my usual beautiful clarity,
that knows in this moment I find
I am suddenly able and readily
willing to dive, fan out, ascend
and in fresh and direct apprehension
find out, into and all through
whatever there may be to comprehend,
full knowing I may not find what I see,
once just what I saw is revealed to me.
No, this was more full of such full
shit. Seamless and whole, I gasped
and grasped all of it, and began
to take it all in: by eyes, mouth,
ears, nose, anus and skin! I felt
quite suddenly
I knew it all.
And suddenly so, and so full
of myself I started at fits,
and bursting at seems,
so seamy and seemingly I
had to melt, and I felt
I must take up and sound
some call! To press little buttons
and hang upon rings, to belt
and to pelt some poor hearer
with all of the knowing I felt
- they could reach out to grasp,
and finger and thumb the softness
and nap of the fine-find felt
that I'd pelted them with. Admire
the color, inspecting the width.
Put it on, forthwith! They can belt it
themselves if they wish, that's none
of my business attire.
At least I would know they'd go
'round better-dressed, or at least
best-equipped in the wardrobe,
sire.
The feeling was lost, almost
at once. I otherwise than so wisely
began a poem, to capture and rapture
it whole. And then - my mistake!
I laughed my ass off! At myself,
so the frame fairly cracked in the first
place I saw (in retrospect) had to break
and fall, to bell-like shards.
Still, too late. I have that frame
in me now, known just as it was.
I had it at once, and you know what?
It's really not hard. So I guess
and bet, suspect and reckon that
if there's some use or purpose
that fits - I'll pop out in the yard
and play with it!
Until it clicks.
wandering trees
There was an amazing tree
in our garden last week.
I don't know where it came from!
Out of gathering dusk I suspect,
it gathered each beam and glow
of light up into its canopy,
sure and bright
by warming degrees
of dusky gold,
and oranges limned
each branch and limb,
and rose bloomed forth
as the sun unrose -
from all of the light
it had kept within.
It vanished, of course.
Such trees always do.
But I bet if I catch
the garden awares
this evening or next,
by late afternoons
stretching out by degrees,
I'll find it there.
Thursday, November 04, 2021
best advice
is the way to grow,
and growing you are
and shall be, you know.
For so far as you go.
For life,
and mind and skin,
by scent and taste
and sense within,
to find you have never
arrived
where you've been.
Just growing up through
all the where and when
you have ever seen, and
what's best - perhaps!
Bend your aim? And veer in,
and you'll see it again,
Or perhaps,
you'll find something else
so very much like. So lifelike,
so kind, it can't be otherwise.
indeed!
In fact,
perhaps this
is the very place
where the difference lies
gasping, beginning
to bleed.
Only it has grown,
too.
It too
has the why.
It too has the need.
rereadable you
I can't change the book,
or put it down.
No matter how many times
through, immersed
in such moments, hope
grown invincible, page
by page.
No matter how many times
to the same end inexorably
we come, and always came,
and always would come. Again
and again.
You'd think with foreshadows
dogging each path as we dart
in memory, winning and beating
odds all the way, same as us,
same as us always - you'd think
I would have or gain a sense
of what was always coming. It
never comes, because if I'm honest
- I had that sense first time through.
I do have a sense I am honest. And you
are more honest still, every each time
through - since we always were.
Eyes accelerate, pulse overrates
the stimulus again as I near and reach
and grasp the end. The End. Same as.
Each time
I put the book down, lay
myself aside and I say
quite sure: it can't
end like this.
It can't end like this.
And I reach for the book
once more.
first base forever
Foreplay is fine. And
one should always clue
to the other's cues, to go on
- if I am one. And I am.
And,
she is too.
But we know
between us
the worth of a dalliance.
This
here,
now
what we do,
is no perfunctory stone.
To skip lightly across,
or entirely
on the way to go
jump in a like. Take
up kite flying instead!
If that's your leer -
long string, short pier.
For we are long peers
and gaze,
and approach,
and consummation is
a step itself
which can be placed
in many ways.
Wednesday, November 03, 2021
remembered walks
Drunken wind
and sidewalks furl.
Upon all sides
the darkness shines
as I reel in
my moorings still.
A long way home,
and feeling quite
at home
adrift
the whole
long way in parts
forgotten
past recall
in starts that fit
by puzzle piece, as
consciousness
closed into
kill.
Sharpened moments,
gravity
shift and catch
necessity
between long instants
unabsorbed. Rolling off
like tides off shores.
Not even feeling slightly
ill.
Nor touching sleep,
not here, not yet,
it's not the place
for that I bet.
In motion still,
we can't
forget.
Until front door
blooms huge and real
and green,
and key snicks in to turn,
and pushing through.
Straight out to yard,
safe under stars!
So long I yearned.
taste theory
There was a theory that people
have taste that varies
beyond accounting,
because
their tongues
actually taste different. But
this theory was disproved
by sufficient kissing. Nope.
Gotta be something else.
If he says
"it’s delicious," and you
don’t,
that’s not “lying” for
either of you,
or me.
It’s just a difference in personal
taste, you see. You scent. You feel.
I hear. Anyway,
It's free. And that
is why there is no accounting
for it. Or ever shall be.
Tuesday, November 02, 2021
runaway transom
My transom outgrew my bailiwick
and flew away under aegis
that grew to dark cloud
hung over domain,
where you stood
impassive,
examining it.
Between
all our breadth
and compassing,
in such own experience,
bounds and all!
In all of our ambit
and sweep and scope,
this realm between us
has grown to demesne,
which having no limits
cannot ever fall.
But having no limits,
horizons extend beyond
all proportion and circular sense.
So stood at approximate opposite
ends, we can't cross it all -
to meet on a hill
become our domain,
looking up at dark cloud,
hung over and growing
so tall
with rain
Garden of Inconstancy
A garden falling down needs
a gardener to pick it up. Here
and there to make and shape
the growing things to someone's art.
Respecting one's materials is all
the gardener must do. For nature
calls the gardener to artifice
in beam and dew.
Some of us aren't gardeners. Not
much at least, we hear the call
- but something in us wilder still
would like to find what nature
does, no gardening at all.
driving my heart away
A pretty girl
so you say
rear-view mirror eyes
I can't recognize
and all your points
have shown my way
shown how stupid I was
to come or stay
in every direction
no need to pick one
driving my heart away
driving my heart away
all of my guidance
lost
in outer space
driving my heart away
driving my heart away
home sweet humble
be it ever so
I can't find the pride
to meet your compromise
when all your signs
say wrong way
I keep on ahead
with heart thrown away
in every direction
no need to pick one
driving my heart away
driving my heart away
all of my guidance
lost
in outer space
driving my heart away
driving my heart away
journey's end
is off the map
there'll be another one
to take up so much slack
I won't arrive
finally or otherwise
someday I'll just stop
I won't break down to cry
whenever I look back
that's where you'll be, dear
driving my heart away
driving my heart away
making my way lost
making my way clear
driving my heart away
driving my heart away
all of my guidance
lost
in outer space
driving my heart away
driving my heart away
at least one of us
knows how to navigate
driving my heart away
driving my heart away