total asshole poem

I'm such 

an asshole
I squashed
and killed a lizard
setting my computer down 
for a minute
and when the minute was up I saw 
underneath 
what happened to my dude 
and then
I wrote a poem 
about a lizard killing incident 
that did not in fact occur 
solely to horrify 
my one reader I know loves 
my lizardly love of lizards 
and my odd lizard poem 

and what this would do to me 
inside
and probably forever

like those two slugs 

when I must have been five.
 
"Yeah, cool story" you might ask 
"but if so why was it two?"

Some damage takes time
in mind to accrue, okay? Have you
never known this? Especially when
hatred and loathing of some horror 
we abhor is the excuse 

cut me a break I was single-digits man. 

such
an asshole yes, but 

please credit me for not being 
as bad as my imagination 
leads me to be. I called stop

I did not, as I thought to do 
describe the angle of his leg
which still twitched, so I could not explain 
"why didn't he bolt?" Dead already? 
Or the odd indent to only partial flatness 
of his torso. To a lizard, too, torsos are
essential! The tail they can lose and regrow
but this - this. Seemed strange, that indent, 
since I used no corner to kill him. Well, 

I didn't kill him

in actual fact he bolted fine. Which was good
since his camouflage on that chair was flawless, 
and 

I set my computer down 
so gently where he was