ways to not fly

I used to wait
until some new idea struck, 
then tried it out exhaustively. 

When as a kid: with flapping motions
of one's arms more vigorous than any
bird's, I stood and stood
in various backyards.
I tried and flung myself
into it by both hands: two
beating flaps! Like sticks
without a drum
and  

No result!
Just looked absurd. 

The trick
was in the rhythm, 
though. I couldn't ever 
catch that groove.
You can't get any
altitude

the way I so completely 
proved. 

So: running leap in empty
lot! A flat-out shot tiptoe
to fingertips! One shot, one leap
by jolt of faith to make a javelin
that slips so far through empty air!
Until, until...
The bolt one makes
has knocked  

the wind
out of itself, 
to skid to halt
in dirt and weeds. 
It finds its place
on painful ground,
like one's own fault,
so many times. 

So I had found.
Or at least three.  

Or: one fist up, one pulled back 
in, like Superman, except 
he wins. While I just hop 

about with one knee up

So it begins, 
so it proceeds: 

no progress, though. 

(At least I never used
a cape. I knew by then
the cape was not the key.) 

(I also wisely kept
my efforts and attempts 
all set quite low. Ground
-level to begin! I could just
tell somehow: to jump
from off a roof, or some
high place could never boost
my lift in space.) 

(Yes, reason is a gift
with which I'd always felt
back then
I'd been 
endowed.) 

So past a certain point, quite
young, I knew my chance was up
and done. By pretty early in the trials,
I allowed as how I wasn't getting 
anywhere: and moreover: I wouldn't!

Since (you see) I reasoned, judged, observed:
none of these tricks and methods worked
way back when I was light and small!

There's no way that they'd work at all,
then. Since by the time I'd noticed this,
I'd passed my peak for aerodynamism,

loft and lift, or what else figures into it.

Yes, probably
it's just as well
I tried and failed
with each and all.

Since at my full grown size and weight, 
these days, if I'd flown then, I probably
couldn't fly by now at all, anymore
anyway
anyhow.  

If I could, I'd be amazed. 

All children passed through this same
basic phase, hey didn't they?

If they did not,
I don't know how. 
It seemed so natural
to fly, or try at least. 

Way back when we 
were light enough to land
with OW! 

no injuries. 

It didn't take a break or sprain 
to make me chuck it up: "bad job." 
Just realizing I'd become 
too big a boy 
for such 
light
lift
and loft, and soar
or clumsy lob.