coherence critique

Ah, geez.
One rude glance up and down
the extent of this
is enough. The eye

picks up the tell-tales
- deeper scanning confirms the verdict:

This is discursion. Cursory,
digressive. A stream-of-consciousness
bilge-barge that slides
continually past us out in the harbor

as we wait by the raised bridge,

hoping for it eventually to be over!

Distracted by impatience,
examining the haul. Good
point made…other point
made, strong development
…sideslip into irrelevant
and soi disant “charming
or amusing” tangent…point A
made again…point C introduced,
relevance unclear but seemingly
-independently valid…point B
made again, far more strongly
…tangent
…PARABLE? An…apparently
parodic quasi-bible parable, which
illuminates the central case, if there
is one, only in the most garish, cinematic
German-Expressionist lighting and deep
startling shadow. Point C

made again! Relevance established
by some unsuspected back-door, point
A made again and we end on point B!

Bridge lowering! Go go go drive!

What did we think? In short,
it goes on too long and says both
too much too many times, and
too little too well - though to do it
justice, the too little it says too well
it does say too, too well. Almost
a little too too-too. Its preciousness
offends and belabors the eye! The

author

apparently

intends to make us the audience, japed
from the stage, by a magic trick far
too obvious to even bother spill the secrets
of! We know. He or she (in this case, he he he)
is frolicking and gamboling in the annals
and canals of language analytically, and
in top hat, cape, and combat boots to boot, and

- nothing else!

So arrayed, in foray far too often straying
into and through available ditches and mud-holes.

What is his purpose?

To entertain?

To self-indulge?

It’s bad enough to use English
in a masturbatory way to gratify
one’s own performative urges.

This fool
seems to think
he’s got a hand on
not his own but the language’s
junk! And is riding it like a hand-pony
to ignominious victory in a steeplechase
where the stakes could not be more low.

Or be more concise! It’s maddening.
Maddening.
I should not have had
to read all that
to get what I got out of it. If someone

clearly can write they ought to have 
some obligation to quality. This

is not literature,

it is vomitus ejectae.

Yeah.
You and me both,
buddy. Nice fake Latin,
too.