malice afterthought

What sort of nude
humiliation do you imagine 
I want? You subjected to, 
to which you object 
in prospect, digging 
for woes and whoas 
in this grim bit of business 
which you propose? Revenge porn 
is contradiction in terms! Is porn 
"living well?" Is porn best "served 
cold?" 

The mutual exclusivity here is 
or ought to be criminality, if
and when these two too ill
-suited (entirely unsuited 
actually, natch) drives are 
malevolently combined. No, 

I am not and ever would be

sharing 

Yet

If you're into that sort of 
tease, titillating oneself 
with fantasies of some hard,
cruel dude with a posthaste 
ache to show to the whole world 

how his

you once were, 
in malice afterthought,
and you want

to cast me in that role? -

Sorry! Not interested. I prefer 
action pictures to psychological 
thrillers poised and spread implausibly,
even raunchily, motive-wise. Trust me,
there's no belief to be found or held
or prized from such innocently yet suspicious 
lies. Cast your eyes aside from such low
base goals. Besides, you
so scrupulously omit 

ya face

most times. All the best pics, though 
show nothing else but. I love ya face, 
and the thought of seeing it fell 
and furious, hurt and wronged 
would pursue me to death and beyond 
if I ever let slip such precious tell, 
such privacy shared and spent 
in a moment I can't ever regret 
so, well. So I'll see 
that I don't. Capisce? 

Oh hell. I can't put it any barer 
than that, and to be the bearer 
of clarity, FACT: You never did,
would, or could even have 
hinted at. Such. 

My imagination, you know. 
So terrible in every conceivable way 
of self-accusation bent. I keep it 
against myself, perchance
for someday. 

A bit much, I confess a bit 
too too much