be a man, man

I decided to take a piss
standing up, like a man
I did fine - quite astoundingly
well, I don't know why I'd be surprised!
I always do

quite astoundingly well. Well,
I confess: sometimes, I admit,
sometimes,

I do pee sitting down.

If I feel
there's a good chance of also taking
a shit, well

I'll demur to stand, and finally
be seated. I will acquiesce, yieldingly,
wantingly, to the possibility of an urge
fulfilled, a need emptied. I must do at least this:
be open to the chance of what's to come. In this life,
hey. You gotta. You at least: gotta. And yielding to
this plain, good sense - for some reason I don't know,
it makes me feel quite ladylike. Practical!
An unselfconscious multitasker. I'm on the job.
Yet if some fucking dude
comes in, before I've finished
the first part of my business, I yell: "HEY!
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

I'M TRYING TO TAKE A PISS
SITTING DOWN!"

This serves only
to underscore my manliness.

All we men are sensitive about that shit.