and if I love you

if I love you
can you make me say
I love you? will you drag it out
of me, with conditions, situations,
wrangles, or you could just ask. I mean generally,
I'm going to be the one to say it first. But
if you say it first, do I win? And wait, though: What if
I don't love you?
And then - you say "I love you..."?
Will I say, awkwardly
- awkwardly, after a pause - will I say
"awkwardly...?" Not literally "awkwardly" I suppose,
I wouldn't say literally: "Awkwardly." but
no matter what I say there, it will probably be
awkwardly. Awkwardly, or
words to that effect. "Awkwardly"
is a word to a very specific effect, one
that other words would have a hard time getting to. By
whatever means words get to their effects, "awkwardly"
has a leg up on its. Partly it's

that bunched-up
doubleyou-kay-doubleyou
packed in there!
Like an impacted wisdom
tooth, or like the words
"I love you"

which - despite all our best
probing and pinching,
aren't showing up on the x-rays.