open letter

Dearest everyone,

I am very serious and I apologize, I wish
I could buy you breakfast, and eat it with you.
I am probably the most serious person you ever

met. I took you literally, and every time
you thought I was kidding and laughed,
a part of my heart could not understand,
and died. And it was the wrong part, and it deserved to die
because laughter is our universal recognition that the world
is in fact,
fucked up.

The point is: please imagine if

please imagine first, if nothing I ever said mattered,
because that's truer than anything I could say. But
second, please imagine if everything I ever said I meant.
Because that's so close to the truth, you would not laugh
at me or with me, if you knew. And the world is not
what you make of it. The world is most certainly not
what you make it. The world is.
We're stuck with it.

I hope you don't mind being stuck with me.
I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want
a better world than I've seen. To clarify:
I believe in heaven. And I have had hell on earth,
and I don't want a better world than I've seen.

I don't want it.

I don't want it.

Darling? Kiddo? Can you read these words? Anyone?

I don't want a better world than I've seen with you.
Sat in next to you. Clinked your glass to. Let pierce me.

Let's all die when we have to. 'Til then, let's live.

I have work to do.