metaphysical claptrap #2

To catch and trap
a spirit. Garden-variety,
outer dark, or special -
First take a box 
make it metal 
not tin 
nor steel 
nor iron 
nor aluminum, 
but any other metal 
works well. Hinged lid 
and a solid construction 
air-tight (no smell). Set 
it on a table, one pillar 
fanning down and out into
three clawed legs, with a circular 
top - otherwise, any table 
will do. Precisely 
three feet high, 
and not one metal 
nail or screw, nor 
any varnish 
you're not 100% sure 
the chemical composition of. 

The rug beneath is immaterial. 
You can get these in any shop. 
They all stock immaterial rugs, 

but 
you'll probably have to shoplift. 
They won't ring you up, it's ok 
it's a little evil and makes 
a spiritual prelude for such 
rituals. Nice. 

All ready, at the appointed hour 
(up to you), simply flip the lid 
open and back, darken the room 
and light the candles (use drapes 
if it's morning) (to darken the room! 
Do not light the candles using drapes) 

all in one smooth motion, and await 
patiently (but in no saintly mindframe)

with an open mind,
believing totally 

a spirit 

will enter the room

believe it 
absolutely

with an open mind.
If you can do it, 
it'll happen.
Only that way

will it happen

- if you cannot attain
to absolute belief, or 
cannot do so while
keeping an open mind, 

no spirit wants to humor that shit!
It's weaksauce is what it is - if
no spirit shows (well, invisibly
shows) that's 
your fault
and a fault in your faith 
capacity, as well as
(obviously) your 
open-mindedness.

So if you don't want 
to know this about yourself,
don't you dare, coward! 

But if you've got the goods in you, 
and you're interested 
to catch and trap a spirit 
(let's confess - pretty mean 
trick!) 

DO IT 

Just wait. If 
when the spirit
enters the room 

(and if it's garden
variety you're after, 
best do the ceremony
in a room 
with a garden-facing
window and no drapes!)

Clap! 

That's it. Just that! 

Clap, and the startled spirit, 
seeing the table and all, will flee 
into the box! For safety, and the lid 
will snap shut of its own cause, 

seemingly. 

That's how you know
a spirit's in it, since
they're invisible. If 
the lid doesn't snap
shut, buddy you just

clapped like an asshole over nothing 

Nice try.

Open your mind some
more, maybe. 
 
Why not is why.