coping mechanism verdict full acquittal

I was beginning to
despair, but then
I hoped
it might only be
dismay, disappointment
at expectation, not
unfulfilled so much
as the glass cracked in half
such that neither could be
filled. Except incessantly,
perpetually, a futile
endeavor. Anyway,
in such ways
as is often my wont,
I distracted myself
splitting hairs between classes
of adjectives, moods
and problems about which
there's nothing to do.
Or nothing that could be
done. That ceded, that
grasped, I concluded: there is
no solution, and
- there more or less
never was. So

no cause for despair then! It was not
a problem really. More a mere personal

subjective
invincible

distaste

for some inalterable aspect
of reality, and

you know me

I never sweat those