miss

I miss you like a freight train
I miss you like a wheel in the sky
it must have been thrown by a giant's hand
how did it get there?
'cause I miss you so much!

I miss you like a falling star
I miss you like a crack in the world
sometime I think I'm going to fall in and die
what's gonna stop me?
'cause I miss you so much!

5 7 6 damn

I do so love hai
ku. Especially the coun
ting on fingers part

novel twist

Aw, I can't top that.
I can't understand it, but
it's perfect! And sad.

Bittersweet, I mean.
The turn at the end - what a
neat disappointment!

doom haiku

"doom", "fate", "destiny"
these words all mark you for me
haiku rhymes just fine

propose

if you and I wed -
can we please write our own vows?
in form of haiku

"not a koan"

My love for you is not a koan
take it on the face of it
take it from the other side
take it from the front or back
take it in and ponder it
take it hot and take it warm
take it 'til you're sick of it, and I
will meditate on form

pending

the end,
depending
pendulous
suspends above each one of us
compendium of future course
a pendulum, swung hard, with force
grows bigger with each passing year
its fruit's sweet flesh
hides bitter seeds
the branch bends down
the fruit's weight grows
the stem will snap

eventually

-pour-

It's raining like a motherfucker. Reality has sprung a leak in its ceiling and the roof is letting us hear it. An earful of water all night, until sleep washes in and you can bet you will dream of waves.

can't reach

you can't reach me from where you are
except you do,
and have

you can't
save my life in any way, from where you are, except
you do - you have.

And what would I do?
without you
without you
without you, is the only way I ever face
my day

and you can't reach me from where you are
except
you do.

I have a sudden
sick thrill of fear - like the man you whirl to face,
solid, silent, standing in the room at the corner of your eye -
I suddenly realize that you could be
more
here
where I am

than you are
where you are

full

the last of the glass, tips
falls

with not enough in
to spill.

I'd be more than willing to pick it up,
swing my hand over and in
to save a crash -
but so fun after all of this
and that,
to just watch.
Watch it roll. Hear the wide, hollow sound
of glass, singing in its empty belly
a song of wood.

This high table where we both once sat and shared exactly this

I am full
of very good wine, and finally
empty
of you.

I was one

I was one of four
possible people waiting outside
for you to show. You didn't
seem as though you were going to be
a very good bet

"The Worst Mistake of Your Life" (earlier draft, since revised)

When you're looking back at the end of time,
and it's passing in front of you line by line,
and you're figuring out where it all went wrong
- will your finger stop on the day you're born?
No of course not, we know that won't be the case.
We can all catalog all our worst mistakes.
But when you tally up your account of tears -
please don't leave out this moment right here

'cause you're one step away from the worst mistake of your life.
It's never too late for the worst mistake of your life

You're spending your life in a hundred ways.
You've been getting ahead of yourself for days,
and it's going to catch up to you soon or late
- it will circle round, like the hand of fate.
You will look back behind you and turn to stone,
see the risk that you're taking may be your own
and each painful decision you make so fast
- you're so sure that it should be the last!

...but you're one step away from the worst mistake of your life.
It's never too late for the worst mistake of your life.

It should be amazing, this life you hold.
Through the walls and the windows of heart and soul,
you can still catch a glimpse of familiar space
in the dawning light on a stranger's face
- but you pick at your life like a locked door
and you may not be right, but at least you're sure
'cause you always have some kind of map around
but you don't know your upside from down.

And you're one step away from the worst mistake of your life
It's never too late for the worst mistake of your life

If only the gods got involved.

If only the gods got involved.
you know that they could have
prevented so much war, rape,
destruction in their name -
or maybe that was their involvement.
Their game. Leave people to speak
in their name: and what follows
while conscience lies fallow
and love, tamed to duty, sighs
as it lifts the knife. Gods,
you love drama, tragedy; immortal,
it is all comedy to you. The wisdom
of gods is to know our worth.
We are good

for a laugh, it's true.

"Be No Revolution"

Well hey, have you opened your eyes? Can't you see what's going down? The world's in a state of affairs between the capital kings and clowns and you know, they're all gonna get theirs (either way, as they saying goes) but between them, you know one thing: you're fucked might as well just start shedding clothes Well here's the big time big-wig-pig mother fucker he's rigged all the jury-rigged trials, motherfucker he's so deep in you gotta smile, motherfucker - and I could introduce you now, motherfucker! He's given up sexism, racism, isn't that nice? (he confides there's no money in it) well, we don't need to make money anymore either we just gotta move it around! And there'll be! No! Revolution, coming down or we could be the first ones up against the wall aw, but they'll Be! No! Revolution, coming now So you and me will have to settle for status quo, oh And we'll be stepping out in proud style, motherfucker as people gather round for miles, motherfucker to lap it up - what the fuck we put down whatever we decide to call it now! 'Cause communism's just another word for big livin' c'mon, join the party baby all is forgiven except you might have to wait out on line it forms to the left and the right, this time! And there'll be! No! Revolution, coming down or we could be the first ones up against the wall aw, but they'll Be! No! Revolution, coming now So you and me will have to settle for status quo, oh Well one, two three four five six seven eight nine ten... ... ... ... eleven how many billion people can we fit? before the fat latitude pants seams split? we've given up hatred, and discrimination just want to show the world how fast we can take 'em as long as we can keep all our money and jobs - believe what you like! All you ignorant slobs! There'll be! No! Revolution, coming down or we could be the first ones up against the wall aw, but they'll Be! No! Revolution, coming now So you and me will have to settle for status quo, oh Well, hey. Have you opened your eyes? Can't you see what's going down? The world's in a state of affairs between the radical kings and clowns and you know that we're going to get ours - either way, as the saying goes but between them, you know one thing: you're fucked. Might as well just start shedding clothes

"drink"

DRINK!
consume
imbibe
your fill
your fill
will never come
until: you down
enough
to drown out
all - entire, whole,
the memory of
what once
was quite enough
to fill your soul.

bird flown home

bird flown home and
gathered in

a flock of strays
all different feathers
rushed embrace

all beaks and wings
of different lengths

"where have you been?
so good

you're back

You're home again"

with one cocked eye
intent, intense
bird checks the sky,
the clouds, the wind,
decodes, decides:

"I'm home again,"

of the end

Listen:

the beginning of the end came
and we were not ready.

The middle of the end
progressed,
and we did not recognize it

for what it was. Then

the end of the end came.

We didn't notice it at all

creation myth

I wouldn't have given a tinker's damn
for this soul that you fished
from the trash and saved.

Somehow you made me an equal part
of a life that you wholly gave.

There wasn't a world at all
on this earth,
before you came,
before you stayed.

hey

Heaven will have to work hard to live up
to some of the days
we've made.

the poem to make you feel bad about bums

"open and shut"

I am made out of something
most people can't see
they tell themselves one thing
and step over me
my cardboard sign hangs
at a despondent angle from my hands
I've kind of given up on it
as a strategy.
I was a once a kid
mom said big plans
bright-eyed
the future lied
but it keeps coming forward anyway
for me
stepping right up towards me,
as if I don't know what it holds! - and
stepping over

the future wears the suit
and carries the case
I always pictured me having,
never knowing what for -
I'd slide casually behind
some hardwood desk, swing
the case up, slap
it down, spin it
around, snap
it open

now shut.

pervade

this house is full
of you.
and no,
you've never even visited
but everywhere I look
my heart
has overflowed with what
you put in it
exhibited
on tables, walls
and beds,
all over floors.
I step in it
with every step
I take
I need to go
this place is yours.

shushi haiku #2

sushi burps: not as
satisfying as other
burps. Fish-y rice-y

the glass in half

you are such
an activist optimist
you won't settle for:
any less
than the best hypothetical
case

- and you say:
if it doesn't live up, then
potential's a waste

people fill
an empty glass
up to half, then they use it for
a personality graph - it's a metaphor, hey.
But when the question is asked,
well you don't hesitate - you just laugh,
you cut the glass in half

then it's full!
there ain't no "glass half-empty" with you
you cut the glass in half
then it's full!
if expectation doesn't fit, you can cut it in two

you are such
an iron-fist idealist
you won't tolerate: falling short
of the mark -
you'll recalibrate, though
if you can't meet the goal,
you just cut in half - call it "whole"
you cut the glass in half

then it's full!
there ain't no "glass half-empty" with you
you cut the glass in half
then it's full!
if expectation doesn't fit, you can cut it in two
then it's full!
baby, I am half a fool for you
you cut the glass in half
then it's full!
it's not the way you look at it,
so much as what you do

No more playing round! With the sunny-side / flip-side
Tear those gray shades down,
and call both sides bright
Well it could be black or white
- except you can't see black
there's no point in admitting the lack,
just cut the glass in half

then it's full!
there ain't no "glass half-empty" with you
you cut the glass in half
then it's full!
if expectation doesn't fit, you can cut it in two
then it's full!
baby, I am half a fool for you
you cut the glass in half
then it's full!
it's not the way you look at it,
so much as what you do

I think of you often and sometimes

I think of you often
and sometimes,
naked

I think of you often
and sometimes,
I smile

I think of you often
and sometimes,
I can't

my mind isn't here, anymore
it's gone miles

occupy

people fit into each others' lives
and fill each others' evenings up and
plan together days, and then eventually
fall years behind

they stretch back blind, into a haze
horizons forward seemed so clear!
but where was it we've been?

oh, dear

a horror 2

it's out there, still
it hasn't moved. It's fallen
silent
watching close

it knows we know it hasn't left

it knows we know it's here
it knows

This mad, sadistic vigil
could go on
and on
drag over night
it's fallen silent: watching close

for any sign of movement, life -
and all the garden's little mites
and bugs and moths have fallen still
unmoving, twitching not a scale
antenna straight, clenched mandible
and compound eyes stare horrified
wings out, head bowed, defensively
they can't take their eyes off the thing
they cannot see it cannot see
the dark sinks in
devours all.

It's lying still.
its stillness lied
as if I'd move a muscle, now
as if I'd get up, look outside!

I'm going to just give up - give up
I need some sleep

tonight

somehow

pretend it isn't even there

this thing is right outside the house

a horror

there's weird wind
and scraping sounds, from all
around the house

and in the garden, now
- it's just
as if the weeds

were whispering "hush"
the crickets heed
- and every single living thing

is stopped,
and silent: listening
until the what it was
is through

and finished with us

no lullaby.

with you, here
gone
beyond reasonable waking
unavailable, remote -
I'm going to just have to lullaby myself. I must
dive, crash,
and gather in the twigs and straw of my eggless nest
around me like loose comforter stuffing, bury my head
so that the stars and wisps of ghost clouds can close in
and - invisible - wend me on their dark ways
towards morning.

It's not a race, but
I bet I wake up first. And I'll
have coffee for you, ready
to compare dreams. But yours
will be best.

as usual

name tag

Cathy,
I love you
I've let you down
I know that you hate
being called that name!
and still I deliberately began
- I won't say it again,
yes, I'll say it again! I will:

I love you
I've let you down.
I know every better way to begin!
and yet I began like that
is it too late to take it back?
Dear Catherine

I love to destroy the world

I enjoy destroying the world
especially the part where
everyone's like "why?" and
I have no real answer for that
so I

destroy the world, I
destroy the world, because

I love to destroy the world
it gives such a nice, clean feeling.
Like destroying the world,
after that first
big, cleansing spring rain!

ah,

can you smell the air?

What a beautiful day, I guess
the world, on a day like today
could almost get a free pass.

keenness

Beauty's brightness, keenness comes
from knowing: soon enough, too soon -
too late! The thing you saw and knew
in every part of you, was true?
It's gone.

Was gone.
Before your very wondering eyes, and in the instant
that you asked, "How can a thing this good be
in this world?"

It isn't.
Fade to past.

old together

Every time I run into you,
it reminds me
how we thought we'd grow old together

well guess what,

it's
happening anyhow

Godlike height

From godlike height, I'm bound
to look down and admit,
I too would love
to fall

for it.

haiku roll

sushi: haiku food
meaning packed into small forms
bursting with delight

"Believe You're In Love?" EARLIER DRAFT

oh no, you
you're not sure.
You know how you feel -
you just don't know how you should.
And so you're left
self-confused
You should try this test,
there's nothing to lose. Just

Think of one name
(the one you're thinking of)
and use it to complete
a three-word sentence that starts:
"I love..."
then say it out loud
just give it all that you've got
say it with some meaning -
say it with some feeling -
- does it make you happy, or not?

'cause you can't believe you're in love
if you're not in love. No, you can't
believe you're in love if you're not
in love.

It's as simple as that.
An easy read.
Don't try to trick yourself!
You'll only succeed.
There's a million things,
to complicate -
but they're not what you wanted to know,
and they can all wait. Just

Think of one thing
- and do you want it the most?
If it isn't worth it, then no
you don't deserve it
go. Let it go. Let it go!
Just let that thought sink in.
Does it hurt worse than death?
- then maybe reconsider
what you need to give, or admit
you don't know best

'cause you can't believe you're in love
if you're not in love. No, you can't
believe you're in love if you're not
in love.

You can't believe you're in love
if you're not in love. No you can't
believe you're in love

If you're not in love.

sketchy

I just saw a guy
samurai topknot
barefoot pigeontoes
overalls.

He walked right in front
of my car, in the crosswalk

He had one of those
John Lennon Army jackets

His hair was like a big, greasy hat
- one of those floppy, formless ones
that people keep their hair under.
Only his hair had taken over - right up
to that top-knot pom pom

He had a round face
like John Belushi
as a Macy's Parade
balloon

or maybe, it was the topknot
that made me think of Belushi

man

I can't even remember what that skit was about
just him fucking shit up with that sword

said so

I made a remark about your eyes
they're remarkable
I thought for a moment about your charms
they're considerable
it's possible I could love you, you know
you're so
lovable

I'd hate to think what could tear us apart
but it isn't unthinkable, though

you never know.

telling slips

"It's important to be an alcoholic,

if you're honest with yourself"

it isn't what I meant
that matters. In your eyes, I
could be perfect! one of those guys
with a real problem, but heartbreakingly
aware of it, and scathingly self-
articulate

perfect
just the thing
to torture yourself with
and over for years. Darling,

your life could be like writing a novel
one of those
really painful novels
that you love. "Fiction memoir," like
that one guy who got excoriated,
who you always rise to defend.

Skip to the chase, shall we? We know -
both of us know!

I'm no good for either one of us. But

oh,

I'm perfect for you.

You said so.

"At Least It's True"

When your heart fell out
of your chest, this morning
it hit the street, shattered
and the rain came down and
washed the blood off
all the pieces you'd hide -
but you fell to your knees
with your fists
in your eyes

the truth hurts
but at least it's true
the truth hurts - but
at least it's true, you know
it hurts
but at least it's true
you've got to pick those pieces up
and put them back into you

and you know they won't fit
quite the way that they used to
with quite a few missing
and the rest out of order
you try to laugh off
all the pieces you lost
but it hurts when you laugh
when you cry
when you cough

the truth hurts
but at least it's true
the truth hurts - but
at least it's true, you know
it hurts
but at least it's true
there's no use lying to yourself,
you're not so easy to fool, no
no

~ guitar solo ~

what your eyes saw
made you cover your mouth, but
you shook your head, bit your tongue
hoping you'd wake up
pried your eyes off - closed them tighter than tight
but the truth
had already crept in
to the light

the truth hurts
but at least it's true
the truth hurts - but
at least it's true, you know
it hurts
but at least it's true
there's no use lying to yourself,
you can't be fooled by a fool,
no

I got invited to a party and I didn't come

I got invited to a party and I didn't come. I
didn't know the people. It
seemed too much like spam, somehow
they think they can buy my bon mots and joi de vivre
with a note taped to the door "Hey, neighbor!
Please don't call the cops"?
Well sorry, I just

I won't attend. Those
are false pretenses

Wait, what? barbecue?

No. No amount of barbecue
or your blaring reggae band
will entice me over
on this beautiful Sunday

for more than a few minutes.

stuff of dreams

my dreams have all turned to dust
which is quite miraculous, because
initially, they hadn't any substance whatsoever

if I could analyze this dust
and find out of what stuff it's made
the highest scientific minds would find me
oh, so clever