Next-gen clickbait prediction

What if clickbait articles
were about You? All snark 
and snide, grabby headlines 
that the copy never quite
lives up to - yet leaves you 
feeling smeared all the same!

"[Your Name] astonishes 
entire Sunday brunch crew 
with epic, unprecedented
fart," (click to read)

"[Your Name] commits 
indefensible breach of
friendship by accidentally
telling gossip story to
the target of the gossip.
Thought it was about
somebody else!" (click
to read)

"[Your Name]'s claimed goals
for the next five years reveal
[You] have learned absolutely
nothing from the previous
[Your Real Age] years," (click)

(to read)

Then you click to see, 
all pissed, and it turns out 
to be a whole bunch of 
bullshit. Some slideshow 
that takes forever to get 
nowhere. Click. Click. 

Click. 

It probably wouldn't be 
hard, what with AI and 
everything you type, text 
or search. 

Let's all get ready 
for the next generation 
in interactive content, 
huh? Just in case. 

Can't hurt to be ready