early onward

Man 
I remember when I was 
one cell, one single-celled 
organism I couldn't even 
FORM memories. You 
had no place to put it! 

I had to concentrate 
so hard. All this shit 
was going on inside me, 
split! Split! "Are there 
going to be more of me
now?"

No, asshole. Just shut 
up and watch how it works 
okay? 

God was so sick of my questions 
back then. I didn't even know 
what God was, I thought God 
was some kind of big loser. 
No body! I had a super blobby
body and it was huge by my
count. Meanwhile, some "being
of pure spirit" all infiniting around 
everywhere, 

I would go "boooOOOOoOo!"
- but apparently God had seen 
worse.

I don't know why but God spends
most of that infinite time and attention
chilling with humans at the pre-being
stage. 

Maybe it's easier. Telling them all this
shit, "LOOK, 'Joe.' You're not going
to remember any of this, but-" I was
like, who IS THIS thing? Why call me
'Joe,' as opposed to anything else? "I
KNOW FUTURE SHIT-" "Oh come on
man! Get out of my head #1, and #2:
spoiler alert! I wanna find out normally!" 

God 
basically 
got the idea eventually. And 
I can't really blame or fault 
on that score. I was a little 
snot pocket! But 

sometimes I'm sad 
it all happened before 
I could even form memories. 
Now I don't even know what 
happened then! 

Then later I got distracted 
something awful! WOW. 

So this is the famous "birthday" 
I never heard about once in 
my entire life.

What's with the "air"? Is that
seriously the best we can do?