the bible-thump habit

You know in those days, I was a real 
bible-thumper, and by "real" 

I do mean literally. I would thump 
and thwack-clap boom that thing 
like a rectangular bongo, and man! 

It had a sweet thunk to it. A deep 
boom, resonant and sound. Noise
or sound - it's versatile by how
you pound. At any rate. I could
make a sweet racket 

on that book!
A lot of people have, 
but I did literally. I am,

I find, 
the real biblical literalist. 

When it comes to making a sweet racket 
out of the bible. I didn't care! It was no 
sign of disrespect then, and no one 
could mistake it for such. Not 

the way I went on, with such 
tone, boom nuance, deft rhythmic
staccato phrasing and cadence, 
my trademark pitter-pat WHAM
-tssh! (I'd riff the pages a bit
for hi-hat) routine. People 

(if I ever did it around anybody, 
which I don't believe it occurred 
to me to do) wouldn't mistake 

my too-obvious ode mode of joy 
and exuberance for anything but. 
No sacrilege, barely any irreverence
- let alone blasphemy, forget it. 

I was an imp with a halo cocked 
rakishly at an angel in those days, 
and hoo. Was she sweet. 

Kind of broke me of the bible-thump 
habit. You see, 

she was more of a fundamentalist. 
Suddenly my literalism seemed a tad 
naïve. Well, 

I did school her, more than half again 
as much as she surely educated me. 

Now where's that bible