St. Peter met me at the door
and he was jangling all these keys.
He asked me pointed questions
for an awful spell, even
made me go down on knees.
All the while, he seemed
unconcerned.
And he made me recite some
cryptic bits.
Then he said, "Get on up!
Come on in, good boy!"
I just barked, and took a shit.
I could sense it would be
the last time
So naturally I
felt allowed.
Saint Peter just beamed
as if he'd seen
a few stranger things
from this crowd.
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