Monday, February 03, 2020

my Yelp review

Yelp is an anus of lies.
Larry's Deli (Tampa Bay
Area, Florida) is gold.
Their Cuban sandwich
is fuck hot toasty
meaty bun-crunchy
just the right cheesy,
mustardy and with a kiss
of pickles DELICIOUS. Yelp

is ego shit for prima donna crybaby diva TANTRUM CUNTS
who think the world's purpose is to wait on their
hyperentitled overprivileged ASS, just because
they're the customer, they came in

for help,
for service,
it should be with at least a sting of HUMILITY
that you petition another for what they can do
for you, and the fact you may pay

does not elevate you to a lordship, lady. Yelp

ought to be rechristened something more unambiguously
painful, because it is to see these fucks
disporting their dudgeon and snoot
in disgusting comportment
all over the internet, or at least

on Yelp. Yelp
can go to a bag of dicks restaurant
and order the famous five-star bag of dicks
blue plate special,

and eat it,

and I give it two
and a half stars,
on a scale of eleven.

Which I think is fair

1 comment:

  1. WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE

    is largely a matter of pathetic superstition
    involving some syllables pack extra FOUL, BAD
    POWER despite synonyms of exact same denotative
    meaning, typically inculcated by parents
    of an ignorant, incompetent or abusively
    cruel kind, in order to install in their
    own child's mind a weakness for the whole
    wide world

    to exploit with glee, for their whole life
    long, unless and except they spot the flaw,
    discard it as unworthy, and GROW UP

    - and therefore, should be avoided. Most
    of these superstitious types are good, kind,
    decent and harmless, or at least try
    to be nice, and you don't want to hurt
    such sitting ducks. They waddle and quack
    pleasantly enough. Mercy is indicated

    upon the weak. Whether it was done
    to them, naturally or nurturally, or whether

    they simply chose it each day, and in each
    such encounter. Mercy is indicated.

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete

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