untrustworthy type

Unable to control myself
in my presence as usual, I paid
no attention to the curtain I passed
out behind. It was just a feint
stage left, one
I've gone through
many times. As I exited,
I put an extra strut
in my step,

signifying nothing.

That sound you hear
- so loud! is - don't fret!
Only my heart, a red herring
or macguffin I stuffed into
the plot for suspense,
the heedless and carefree way
I make sense. I conduct my affairs,
and don't ever expect to mount
a defense. Present tense I roll bold,
warm, fond, meaningfully and hard
to miss, approximately precisely
correct. With a taciturn edge to
my musically deadpan drawl, I walk
into a bar, screw in a lightbulb (it
only takes one), complete a bystander's
sentence as a backflip limerick, then

take a fall for a stunt. But no one
can believe I meant to do it, because
I said I did not. Because I didn't.
Ahh, people are so easy to fool
with the truth. I have truly missed
my calling I guess and suspect.
One shot, and I have to say,
that's cool.

I was going to anyway.