urge to annihilation

I am going to rip my eyes
out and stuff them in my ears

Then I'm going to take my balls
and tuck them
into my asshole.

If that doesn't work, I will rip my head off
and go bowling, and then

I suppose

As a coup de grace, I could to something
awful, terrible
to my feet.

It would still not still this awful ache
inside, of undeserved alienation
in a world where chaos can't even
do random right, where no guarantees

are even advertised. Time's out of joint
and so, my dear, am I. Welp,

I guess it's plan D, then.

Improvise.