body anger

body anger,
lately.

The pain,
the falling apart
isn't great, but I can see

or imagine from all stories told
that it's going to be.

It's going to be great.

And oh, the rue and the irony then,
over all the times that I doubled
in tears, laughing at old people

doubled in pain, unable to do
what they'd always done, unable to use
what they'd always used, and unable to save
the smallest part of respect that they'd gained

in a lifetime of labors, trickling lost
down invisible drains. What fun,

after all
that has happened to me,
it will happen to me. I guess
It's deserved.
For making up lies

just a few lines up -
About how I laughed.

For whatever it's worth
I never enjoyed my youth,
not once, at such an expense
while it's flown half past

and now,
knowing I never again
may get the chance, I look at myself

and begin to laugh