a Moving Ode to Sherlock Holmes

I really have a good handle on this
"Sherlock Holmes" character. It should be played

as broad comedy, He,
he: the only one in on the joke.
In reality, that's exactly

what's always been going on. For
the sake of the play,

Watson should bellow "HOLLLLLLLLMES!"
at each distinctive display
of our consummate anti-antagonist's

(well that's what he really is, you know)
obsessive tics, each flowering outbreak
of habits perversely tossed in fits.

And as the deduction begins,
a canned fanfare of whacky, zany
Benny Hill style music only maybe
with a little more Goodman swing
kicks in - like a Popeye the Sailor theme,

where all he needs to do is even
*think*
about spinach. That's how we, the audience
begin to catch on: Holmes

is about to get his shit off,
by the end of this song.