Regret, when it comes too late

I was hoping to never feel
like I have to take this back,
or make this right, and anyway now

too much has passed
of time, and life
to be fixing this.
I am sure by now,

you can not care less, anymore
what I wish I hadn't done,

or what I now wish I did
Next,

Afterwards,
the very next day,
or if that was too soon,
(it probably was) then
within the week, or
two - before time hardened hurt
had certainly set, and I
had hardened into
what you thought of me now.

Replacing who you had always known
I was. Goofy and sweet, and maybe

a little bit off.

You certainly made me mad enough
to want to kill that guy, for you. And for you,

I did.

You didn't deserve that guy
anymore. And for you now, I know
that you think you never did. Or
more accurately: that guy

never existed at all, for you
now. Because

you saw the real me, and now

you know.
I guess we both do,
somehow. By different roads.

You all at once,
and me more and more.

Each year that goes by, that guy
who you used to know I was

looks back at me,

across all that growing
distance of time, with a look
on his face

I can no longer see.