viscous cycles

I slept all day.

And then I made it out,
and then I made it home
through the rain,
pedaled hard, through sorghum molasses, and
I made it in. And I fell
asleep

in my arms,
in my legs, and my
everywhere

at once

but my brain. And I've been here,
since

thinking long, not hard,
lying still, and awake

to all that I've missed,
and to every decision

I marred, or made. Or failed
to begin.

To have made them all,
well I realize now

- but it didn't occur,
then
I just never thought -

and I'm lying, still.

And I think I'm caught.

There's a box

that is issued at every birth,
to every one, and only so much life
can be fit in. I did
what I could, to sneak
more than one share

Too busy to notice decisions
I missed -
I made without making,

without a care -

I am brought to this. All my fault, it seems.
Well,

As long as I'm here,
eventually,

I will have my dreams.

I am lying still.