songwriting advice

a second-verse flashback, maybe?
Take us back to an earlier stage
between these two. What's going on
back then, that led us to now?

...or that could lead us back again
to the charged and magnificent hook,

refrain

(reprised in past-tense iteration, perhaps
- maybe this river swim is a metaphor,
but maybe it's something that
played out once before, and has
been burned into mind
in a kind of perfected picture
ever since?)

Were things different then, or were they
the same? Now
could the seeds of today's storms be seen

yet floating on the breeze
of that younger day? And if so,

how?

Better work on the chords a bit as well.