thoughts on suicide

I don't think it's self-hate at all

or

maybe it is, sometimes - okay,

but not always.


You could love yourself
so much, and know
what you're worth - so
much
and more, but


if every day
is another lash
that you know for a fact
you did not deserve, and a burden to lift
that you know you can't

- it isn't self-hate
that makes you burst

when your heart, which has seen you through
so much, to the person you hoped
you could be - you are
that person.

And that person isn't enough.

just another step further, is miles
too far

When that's where you stand,
there's barely a chance
to be able to shake your head, wait
ask: "maybe it's not that I'm wrong, not strong
enough - is the problem
this path

that I'm on?"