This question
makes me sad. Because
I don't know. I'm not sure. Why bother?
Ultimately we can't know what comes next, or
how what we're doing now will pan out, or tie in
to what eventually happens to us. Does that mean
what we do doesn't matter? Or does it just mean,
we can't know whether or not it ultimately will matter?
I try to live
my life in such a way
that it matters as I go. Even if
in no cosmic sense. Even if in no grand,
or important sense. Even if at the very end
of the day when all the turns are tallied, some grim accountant
will scratch out a running reconciliation of credits and debts,
and sum it all up with a naught.
Screw that guy.
If that is the best math he can come up with? Then:
He is the one that doesn't matter.
Why even bother?
One, I bother because I ought
Two,
I bother,
because it is worth the bother, and because
it's no bother to me, to bother.
It would bother me very much not to.
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