but aren't they all random?



A Pocketful of Poesy was a Poem-a-Day(-on-Average) Blog* up until the great derail of 2013. The impossibly-high standard of quality proved impractical to keep up, without a book deal. But don't take my word for it: click RANDOM and judge for yourself! And feel free to offer your critique.
*based on poem rate for calendar years 2009-2012. Also, kidding about the book deal.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

indescribable (alternate version)

indescribable, you are
though I try,
though I keep falling short. Though I
will make a life's work of it,
if I have to: I will

capture you

in words, in a flow
like creeping amber, but
before you are drowned in that slow,
golden tongue of honeyed language, liquid
hardening to tomb, embraced, preserved, killed -
- every time I think I can cover you! You
keep bursting free: a faerie dragon,
from her chrysalis

Monday, November 29, 2010

a winner is you!

does anyone want to win
three whole weeks of happiness?
I'm thinking of putting together a contest
for people to enter and win - but guess
what the grand prize is! Yes, you know best -
your chance in a million, three whole weeks blessed!
by complete and uninterrupted happiness -
mine, that is.

At your expense.

working towards

Because there is always hope.
Because there is always hope.

She still has time for this to come true.
She won't be waiting for it. She will keep
working. Towards, towards,

towards.

She will keep working towards,
For as long as there's Hope, and
there's always hope.
"While there's life, there's hope."

Whoever said that
is dead.

But if it was ever true, its truth
lives on. If

it was ever true.

And
she knows there's hope

because she has it. And
she still has time

because

it hasn't come true.

yet,

wine half-hangover beautiful

my head feels stuffed with wadded cotton
pleasantly full
and a big improvement
over that yellow, wet spongy thing
that generally sits in my skull, on its ass
thinking wonderful thoughts
as the world roars past

for me,
right now:
we can sit outside
in the sun, in the chill of a day going by

that we woke to, bright; too bright
too fast

now we're sharing the last of this one last glass

oh, this garden
needs its weeds.
And there's nothing
I'd rather do, but be.

Here with you,
we can slow this all down,

and see.

theory

God made the world, you know -
but science made it
round

deft, and adeptly

I've got a mind on me
like a ton of bricks
and I'm not afraid
to toss it around

do you want to play catch?
here it comes, all at once
hey, you're pretty damn good!

what a juggling stunt

indescribable

indescribable, you are
though I try,
though I keep falling short. Though I
will make a life's work of it,
if I have to: I will

capture you

in words, in a flow
like creeping amber, but
before you are drowned in that slow,
golden tongue of honeyed language, liquid
hardening to tomb, embraced, preserved, killed -
- every time I think I can cover you! You
keep bursting free: a faerie dragon,
from her chrysalis

GAY

he holds that thought

he holds that thought
of you
so tight
the thought has flesh,
and warmth, and skin, goose-bumped
between the palms and fingertips
(of mental hands,
I mean)

impasse

you and me,
or as you put it -
"you and I,"
- we agree,
we can see
that we've had our differences,
but we've always been on the same side.
But now,
I can see you yawning at me
from the opposite cliff of this yawning divide.
And for once - we can't meet half-way, this round
because there,
there's no ground.

Just a long way down

disillused

God damn it, you
hang the toilet paper
the wrong way!
I knew it
I knew you weren't
I knew you couldn't be
perfect

deception

sometimes I wish
I could not see auras
I hate the way
your whole head lights up
when you lie to me.

the worst part is,
you know that it does that.
you want me to see.
you keep protesting that you don't believe, but
the last time you said so,

your whole head lit up.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

plain pasta

Lately I've been craving plain pasta.
Cooked in water.
Store-bought,
with a boring sauce.
I don't know what it is,
or why.

It was the only thing
that you cooked for us.
I'm not craving the lovely
dinners out, or my
rather elaborate recipes
that I made up from scratch
with a pinch of doubt -

just a simple thing, hot
that we both could eat.

half a thing is a thing.

half a thing is a thing.
half a heart feels
full. It just won't beat
as well. It just can't hold
as much -
just as a glass cut in half,
is whole - and it
fills twice as fast,
but your lips will be cut

an easy fix?

she'll never change, no.
Except
you just bet your life that she would
why did you do that?

there are some leaps of faith
that just cannot create
the safe place to land on the other side,
no matter how hard you pretend
to try

and I wish you would ask your eyes
I wish you would have consulted your mind
because next time is already lost, you know
there isn't going to be a next time.

you'll be stuck with this time, till she breaks down
and cries
and tells you why. Another lie?

it'll be alright. Because people can change, well

- how can a might that might never occur
make up for a now that's as bad as her?

sweet as sweet

I just found out
what sweet is, sweet
as sugar on your tongue
learns for the first time
how it tastes

guardian

so despicable are we
that we see every lime-streaked,
liquified corpse
of our self,
that we've killed
and thrown down this well
as they soak in, and settle -
it isn't enough. There is worse on the way;
we need more.
No, the world is not safe
yet,
from what we hold in store.

Down this almost-bottomless well
where we live, carving sigils
in hard, rounded stone
that curves round us in circles
protection, protection
for you all, from me
we've perfected a method
to raise these walls higher
from down here,
you see that the top isn't high enough yet
to be safe, absolutely
we'll never forget
what we'll never forgive
and can never explain.

Encircled, alone,
we make bitter, pained,
desperate efforts to hold -
to enchain,
to imprison
this thing that we know.

For no one else can know
(though we try hard to tell)
no one else can protect
no one else sees the hell
that is waiting to spring
on some bright, ripened life

- we must wall it up higher, now
wrap the chain tight

for there's no one else, dear
who knows how deep and far
we could sink, we could go,
yes, we know what we are
oh, we know what we are

and

we'll keep you from harm.

No one else here can save you now, love

move along.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

(as if pronounced "Cal-i-forn-EYE-AY")

we drove into the sunset for a week
trying not to make it go too fast
when we finally got there, we could see
everything was beautiful at last
California
California
please don't go away
(stay with me)
We lived to see the day
in California
if California holds together
so can we
every night I dream that it's the last
panoramic vistas crashing down
tons of gleaming metal, mirrored glass
I wake up to wrap my arms around
you
California
California
please don't go away
(stay with me)
We lived to see the day
in California
if California holds together
so can we
I left behind the world to be with you
we started to create a world, ourselves
if you can't stay here to see it through
the fault beneath my feet goes straight to hell
California
California
please don't go away
(stay with me)
We lived to see the day
in California
if California holds together
so can we
if California holds together
so can we
if California holds together
so can we

Monday, November 22, 2010

If wishes were stitches

I want to apologize
to everyone, for the way that I am
that I cannot change
and that will continue to be:
a tax upon your patience,
and a frustration to your attempts
to get some kind of broad, shoulder-shruggy position across
in the face of my specific resistence,
or specific insistence,
or simply my specific
existence -
which I know has been quite unfortunate
for some of you
to deal with.

I realize
I take what I understand to be true
and I score and slice, and whittle it down
to the hardest core and clearest point
that I possibly can,
(given my limited abilities)
and then,

I pound,
and pound, and I
pound, pound it home.

Which can smart, a bit.
I know,
some people are a little tender
where they live.

But you know what? I can't do any better
than to try to give you what I understand,
to the best of my understanding,
the clearest way I can.
I do it not to show you
up, or to shut you up
or down. I do it
So that you can do likewise, and -

then we can see where we stand.

So while I want to apologize to everyone,
I feel that it would be hypocritical of me.

So I can't.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

my thoughts to pieces

Did I too late the
if it did, I'm really
but you know that I
forever. I've never
person. You make
all over. And it isn't
keeps getting more
alone - not without
intense. Because I
and kisses, and the
wouldn't unless you
that way. Your lips

Boobs

boobs loom large
in mind (in mine)
regardless of
the size of cup

each boob embodies
some ideal, each
perfect boob
can't disappoint,
but measures up

unto itself

for what it's worth
can't be compared
except to just one
other thing:
the other one

(they come in pairs)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

can't put it plainer

I'm going to lay it all on the table,
cards-wise. And I'm
going to put it to you straight
I can't put it plainer. When I met you

well.

You know.
You saw. You were
there.

I thought
I had some pretty strong
defenses, but I guess
they must have been
against something else, because

you just jumped up
waded in,

threw your best shot
- yourself! - at me
with a full-body flying hug, you

smote

me

down,

like a heavy cudgel; wielded rough
and tumble, and I really don't know if I have gotten
or can get
up.

But in any case,

the dent that you made in my heart
looks great. And so,

yeah.

I can't put it plainer
than that.

repeat (all)

I put the album on
that I played the last time
I could not get to sleep
it came out in '01
and it's really been years
and it's not working, now -

but it washes right over me
beautiful, wow

and I can't get to sleep,
or to peace
with the past

if the moment won't pass, make it last

make it last.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

take your hand

I'll take your naked hand in mine
and bow my head and kiss it, grin
- and I'll be yours, and you'll be mine,
and every fight we have, we'll win.

the rapids

I keep telling myself
in the back of my mind
that I'm not going to bother you with this stuff

it's not that you don't care, or
that you're not indignant
to not be a part of my struggle enough

- you are! yes you are
you're a big enough
part

You're my rock. and
I need you to settle down -
or else, I'll have no mark to swim for, love
I'll be swept under, pulled
down the rapids,
and drown

It's just that you can't help me through,
not through this.
Not by diving in reckless!
- just give me your trust

just your trust, not your help -
all I ask
just hold fast.
Your help can't help me now
to get safe through this crush,
get myself through this stretch -

I can't drag you along,
and the weight of your fears,
and your tough, sharp advice

I know you want to help

what I need is this chance
to shoot through, to get clear,
safe to you,
back to life

and I know what I need
to do now, to do that.
You say all that you want
is to do all can,
- and you do.

but you push
and insist to do more than you can.
Can that help?
Does it somehow help you?

It can't
help me.
I just

listened to you -
or your voice, your
voicemail.

Yes, I'm uncomfortable. Yes, I am probably
still working out in my head what is best.
To be honest, I'll probably be working it out
in my head on an ongoing basis I guess.
That's just the place where
I work all these things things out

whenever you don't swoop in to announce
- like a startling angel -
that henceforth I must
work it out in my mouth,

work it all out right now.

Please, if you think you can save me

if you want to save me -
I need you to save me
- save me

by standing back!

Stand fast, hold safe -
right exactly where you are. I need
someplace to aim.

I am in the rapids,
in shock

I am slipping over the edge
of the waterfall,
now

and I have maybe one chance
to take a very deep breath,
shut my mouth,

and aim for the rock

Monday, November 15, 2010

in case of emergency

when the real aliens come,
to take us down,
all our top crypto-science-
fiction experts
had better just shut the fuck up.
I don't want to hear any gloating
from the star wars camp, because
they have laser swords, or from
the star trek camp, because they all
speak English, or from the Asimov camp,
because their robots operate
according to preposterously-flawed
programming constraints.

I want
all these geeks
to just shut the fuck up
and buckle the fuck down, and help
our god-damn unified patriotic military
infrastructure of Earth

to come together

and find some tricky way to beat these bastards.

God!
Is there -

can there be?

- any hope at all?

I wish there was some way we could start working on the problem now.
We simply have no data.

closest thing

my heart,
paler and fainter than yours
beats faint in the echoes
of your strong pulse
I know I can't love or feel
ever so strong
as you do
but I'm close
I am really
so close

Monday, November 08, 2010

no distraction

we each have things to focus on
that need our full attention, so
I guess I should back off a bit
so as not to distract you - though,
do I still fit the bill? for that?
at this point - I'd divert, at best
a pleasant, slight diversion, no
distraction, no, at most
a pest

it would suck to have more than one house

it would suck to have more than one house
you'd be tearing the house apart,
searching for something
some book
some letter
some key
"I knew it's here someplace...!"
some particular item of clothing
some sweater
some keepsake
a gift, maybe
- when all of a sudden it would hit you:
"Shit.
Maybe
it's in Barcelona."

Sunday, November 07, 2010

party lover

party lover

I'm a

I'm a

party lover,
I love parties

I'll be standing
by the brick part
of the wall
and body-rockin'
subtly
subtly

body-rockin'
I say subtly,
'cause there isn't any
music, really
isn't this a
party? Where's the
music? really,
I can still be
body-rockin'
very, very, very
subtly
subtly

drink in hand and
well away from
anybody

standing over
standing over
by the brick part
of the wall

this is just a
drink I'm drinking
this is just a
thing I saw
I can talk about
ideas
I can talk about
the wall

especially this brick part
right here
check the subtle texture
y'all

there's the girl
I can't go over
she's not quite
the girl at all

she's just sitting
on the quilt part
of the couch -
she looks quite tall
but she could be deceptive, really
sitting down's no way to tell
hey - wait - is she body-rockin'?
subtly, subtly!
what the hell?

maybe I judged prematurely
or she's making fun of me!
- but no,
she sits there,
quite sincerely
body-rockin'

sub
tl
y.

one of us should
probably either
go head over, or
come hither

'cause it's clear we're
both aware this has become
a tense, hair-trigger
standoff duel
misdirection
near-miss
eye-contact
who'll flinch?

each of us with Aldis lamp,
expertly mistiming blinks

shadow-boxing in the dark,
fencing without touching blades, she
wields her hair flip like I wield my
bottle-label-scrutiny

if we keep this up too long
if the moment draws too out
if our gaze, some how some way can't

oops, a hit - a touch!

touché

Friday, November 05, 2010

through the wars

and every night without you is the worst night of my life.
I can't take many more of these, or - that's what it
feels like,

- but if I never tell a soul, or you,
and if I can get through, they'll never know!
and no one will. And it will all have been
a dream: no harm, no scar, no stain, no
corpse, no
pain.

We've all been through the wars,
and these
are ours.

Of course we'll fight: the
battlefield is several thousand miles wide,

and you are on the other side.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

dead letter

it's written and sealed
the address is still good,
and it isn't like one of those letters
where you would write all your hurts down
not intending to send -

no,

you very much meant
every word you wrote then.

You intended, you wrote -
It was meant to be sent.
it was meant to be read -

you pressed hard with your pen,
and said several things twice
that were not very nice
first time through

(and the second just hardened the ice)

so now how does it sit, sitting
squared off and white, looking
straight businesslike, to an inch
of its life, and with full postage paid
up in old-fashioned stamp?

to the penny, weighed out

and licked twice, moistened damp
with saliva - the last you'll be spending

on this! And

(you'll never admit!) - with a tear

with a kiss

the given moment

when that glint in my eye
catches fire,
and I have a break
to take in

the breath that I need

a break in the personal cloud
that I carry
a sky-and-a-half's worth of height over me

the scent and the chemistry both say "now"
and you know what it means to me
baby,

(almost)

I can't quite myself grasp
all this mystery
solved

but I know -
it's not gravity

pulling us close

"Are you into me?"

she asked, and I
must say. That's the single best
way I have ever heard that question
put.

"Are you into me?"

She could
(perhaps)
have put it with a bit more casual tone.
The phrasing was impeccable, but the execution, the
delivery, was very much less than "cool." As asked,
the answer mattered. The question
most definitely meant something. She asked
with something behind it, pushing forward. Not
in a forward way, necessarily, but
definitely with a point.
Pointed. Intent. Very intent, and, well,
maybe that was what she intended! In fact,
that's probably a fact. In fact I'm sure,
running it through my mind now,
that that
was probably how she wanted
to come across. So yes. It's not a criticism!
Just because 'proper form' on these things
is considered to be
to be
as aloof and cool
as one can be (when
asking a question like that!), well
- what if you don't want to be aloof and cool? Maybe
it's not an aloof question, for you. So if so, you put
that intent look
and calm but serious tone
there - as if to say, "Something
to ask you, here. This is
or may become
important."

(that's just a tone. Mind you
you didn't actually say that!) (hence "as
if to say")

- but well, that's kind of a grabber! Right?
So yes! Not a criticism. In fact, as I said

I have to say, that
was the single best way
I have ever heard that question
put.

Some people say, "do you like me?" This sets the bar
far too low. The only non-affirmative
answer to that question
would be "fuck
off."
(or tantamount to)

One girl asked me, "do you LIKE-like me?" Which - well,
that would have been fine, I guess, except - she's not
a girl. She's very much fully a woman. Are we in
high school? Do YOU 'like'-like
ME?

Of course! Very muchfully!

If we resort to "are you interested in me?" I immediately
feel like Mr. Spock. Here comes the quizzical eyebrow. I begin
to look for aspects of interest. "Fascinating"

But here.

There you are, right here.

In front of me now, and you (quite
pointedly) ask:

"Are you into me?"

and, Wow.

I have just nothing to say.

I mean, I wouldn't have thought
so before, or rather thought about it that
way, but

when you put it like THAT -

all of a sudden hey

...I kind of am.

"man and wife"

I've known it ever since I saw you
that you were going to be a handful
I knew that you were no pushover
that you could fight me to a standstill

well you should know my will is strong
but you should know my will is good
we both would fight for what we believe in
but we can see that it's the same thing

and I
will love you now, and you
will change my life, and we
will make a start
to find true love as man and wife

and so we both have strong opinions
and maybe always not agreements
so there'll be times I must correct you
and you won't humor me at all
I'll tell you "please don't misunderstand me"
but there are times when you are going to
and there is going to be big trouble
but it's with you I want to go through

and I
will love you now, and you
will change my life, and we
will take a vow
to find true love as man and wife

and you
will break my heart, and I
will let you down, but we
will take a vow
and I'll take whatever you dish out

and you should know my will is strong
but you should know my will is good

and many years will fall upon us
and though the burden will grow heavy,
you'll never stumble when you're weary -
'cause I'll be there to hold you steady
and tell you "I
still love you now, 'cause you
have changed my life, and we
are well begun
to find true love as man and wife

and you
still break my heart, and I
still let you down, but we
have taken vows,
and I'll take whatever

you dish out."

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

distance

A two hour trip is forever away
'cause you can't go today
or today
or today